When I Was That Annoying, Angsty Teen…

February 11, 2015 at 9:09 PM

girl freaking outSo yesterday, I logged into my old livejournal and decided, out of boredom, to read some early entries.

Jeebus cripes.

I had absolutely no idea how annoying I was back then. Well, I was the typical angsty, depressed, suicidal teen with so much drama. I actually had quite an interesting life, spent too much money on unnecessary things, was a very spoiled brat who kept whining and swearing and invented many stupid words. The current me feels like I want to bash the old teen me in the head.

It’s fascinating to try to remember everything.

Luckily, everything is private and not published publicly. Can’t say the same with this blog. I have so many annoying posts from years ago that I read a few days back. I’ve had this blog since 2006. A lot of things I wrote back then were extremely personal because this domain was meant to be a private blog. Blogging has changed a lot over the years and it’s no longer just a platform for random angsty rants like it used to be. I remember how I got into massive trouble at college because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and bitched about people openly in this blog. What a huge, retarded mistake. I think it’s time for me to go back and make all those stupid and annoying posts ‘private’.

Since I have YEARS of entries to go through, I’m sure it’ll take ages. I’ll keep general posts public of course but whatever I no longer want published for the public eyes (in other words, my private life) will be hidden. I can’t delete them though because I love reading old posts and reminisce old time. But I think now it’s time that I ‘erase‘ my past from the internet and move on. I’m trying to do the same with facebook but it’s much harder. Obviously deactivating or deleting my profile is not an option. I’ve already ‘privatized’ majority of uploaded pictures though.

One thing I find upsetting when reading my old livejournal entries is the fact that I’m no longer close to my online friends as I used to be. I don’t even talk to any of them anymore, except maybe one or two once in a blue moon. I’m just not good at keeping friends I guess. Many have even deleted me from their friends list on social media sites, facebook especially. I guess I’m either still annoying, not interesting enough for them to continue the friendship, or just no longer want to be associated with me. Oh well.