Sadly Moving On

October 28, 2010 at 1:04 AM

Last Monday, everything was settled with Nikko. Well actually I went to the vet and gave the doc a cloth to wrap Nikko and asked them to help me bury him… well more like begged them to help me bury him. There’s no way that I can let them just throw away Nikko… and I unfortunately don’t have enough strength to handle it, emotionally and physically. It’s enough that for the whole week I had to endure everything without a single help or support from mom. But at last, the doc told me he’d somehow ask his staff to help me bury Nikko.. well I hope he did. I really hope he did. If he lied, then karma will do its job but I doubt he would lie… I think.

So my time and job with Nikko is over. I didn’t see him for the last time.. 🙁 I want to preserve the memory of him being alive. I thought I could be strong that day but I broke down again. Total bill for him was RM450 which is waaaaaay expensive but that was the last thing I could do for him so it’s ok. I tried. I seriously did. Now back to being broke.

But I’m trying to move on now. There are regrets and such, questions I keep asking myself.. had I done this and this would Nikko still be alive now? But there’s no point in dwelling too much into it because nothing will bring him back. I keep wishing this was just a dream and I’d wake up anytime now…

Now I’m trying to get myself into Halloween mood. I’m also saving up to get a new persian kitten. I surveyed around Ipoh and I don’t like the environment here so will buy a kitten in KL. I don’t want to spend RM1.5k only to get a sick kitten and it dies shortly after. This couple of days I’ve only been playing with my DSi to keep myself busy. I also bought a few Japanese drama & movies which is the reason why I recovered from Nikko’s death quite fast than I had expected. I’ll write it in another blog. Gonna sleep now cuz my cat Jojo is sleeping on my arm and my bottom left jaw is in paiiiiiiiiin! Bitch. Wisdom teeth shouldn’t exist.