A Very Shit Christmas

December 25, 2014 at 8:43 AM

Merry Christmas 2014

Well, it’s Christmas day so Merry Christmas to those celebrating it.

This year has got to be the shittiest Christmas ever for me. Not only I have nobody to celebrate it with, didn’t get any presents, not even from myself like I usually would, but this week has been the most devastating Christmas week ever.

On Monday, which is 3 days ago, I lost my beloved Puteh. He was sick with fever since last week and I didn’t take him to the vet because I’m so stupid. I thought it was just a normal fever and that he was getting better. He got out of bed and all. Turned out his condition had worsened. Monday was supposed to be a good day because I won a free pizza from Vivo Pizza and was supposed to go to AEON Station 18 to enjoy it but when I woke up, Puteh started choking and I tried to rush him to the vet but he just… didn’t make it.

I don’t deserve to live. Please kill me and end my misery. The pain is too much for me. I miss him too much and I feel so guilty. God I’m such a useless human being.

The next day, my friend told me her rabbit died, and yesterday her kitten died. See how much devastation I have this week for me? But 2 days ago, my outdoor cat had 2 new babies, hopefully she can take care of them.

I was told I should blog more with less depressing stuff… well my life has been depressing and I wish I could write something happy and cheerful like I used to but there’s none. Nothing. All I’ve been doing is just sit at home, write stuff, watch stuff, eat, sleep. That’s all.

Usually I’d be spending my Christmas eve with movie marathon while munching some gingerbread cookies but this year I didn’t. I’ve already planned to watch holiday movies on Netflix but I’m too depressed to do so. I did put on HyppTV’s Comedy Central and they had ‘Chrismassy’  Saturday Night Life marathon so I guess that’s enough.

I’m just gonna watch a bit of Youtube then sleep.
My year is not ending good.

Happy Mother’s Day 2014!

May 11, 2014 at 2:43 PM

happy mother's day 2014

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

I think this would be the first mother’s day in years that I couldn’t take my mom out to celebrate due to a few personal reasons. Despite daily arguments and disagreements in just about everything that I believe in, I still love her. I know how hard her life has been raising me as a single mother. I also know how much of a burden I have been to her. I’m trying hard and the best that I could to change that so she could enjoy her life and not having to worry about shit I’ve done or haven’t done.

My life has been extremely hard lately. I fucked up, yes. I’ve also been trying so hard not to let my depression get the best of me and make me do something that I would regret, or won’t even get the chance to regret, if you get my drift. I’ve barely updated this blog lately because I don’t have any interesting things to write about my life anymore. Whatever interesting thing that I wanna blog about, that does not involve my personal life, will be at my new domain:

TOTALLY-AWESOME.net

Anyways. I’m gonna spend today reading a book, watch a movie on netflix and do some blog posts later if I have the mood. I’ve been having migraine since yesterday and allergies since a few days ago. Not a pleasant feeling.

Happy Valentine’s Day 2014

February 14, 2014 at 7:02 AM

Happy Valentine's Day

Ahh, Valentine’s Day. You come again.

And it’s yet another year I’m going through the day as a single person. No relationship, no nothing.

It’s not like I don’t want to go out and search for a potential partner, it’s just that I’ve been so busy with my own personal problems, love in not in my list as a priority. I know I should find somebody. I’m getting older. Majority of my friends have kids by now, some even have kids that is going to grade school. Imagine how old I feel.

Oh well. If there’s somebody for me, I’ll find it sooner or later. Happy Valentine’s Day to all the happy couples out there.

On a side note, I was doing a project, hence why my blog has been a bit quiet. It was an unexpected and impossible project. The deadline is in 2 days and no, unfortunately I couldn’t finish it. I’m so bummed about it. I’ve been working hard..but I guess not hard enough. Hmmph.

Oh and my internet has been upgraded to 10 Mbps. Sometimes I feel the change, but most of the time I don’t. Wtf.

My iMac also won’t start up. I’m sad, panicking and pissed off. The story of my life. FML.

Bye 2013.. Hello 2014. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014!

January 5, 2014 at 10:06 PM

Tany

Hey… it’s new year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014!

This was supposed to be posted on new year’s day but I was preoccupied with other things, and then the next day I went to KL for 2 days so I didn’t get a chance to finish this. Since last year I barely blogged at all, so this is gonna be super long.

I can’t believe 2013 is gone now. As usual, all you would hear is ‘how time flies… where did my 2013 go?’. I’m sad. Sad that I’m a year older, and it’s a constant reminder how old I am now. It makes me depressed. Anyways.

I didn’t do anything on new year’s eve to celebrate except sit at home in front of the TV and wait for the countdown. I was depressed, about my problems and also that it was the last day, last minute that I would be in my twenties. Oh God. Moving on. Continue after the cut below.