Heartbroken.

March 27, 2015 at 12:25 AM

depressed girlI’m heartbroken. I’ve experienced yet another unexpected death of my cat.

I had this orange tabby cat that appeared at my house out of nowhere 4+ months ago. He was very sick, wounded and had terrible mange that covered his whole body. He also had high fever. I couldn’t just let him die so I took him to the vet since his mange was also infecting my other outdoor cats. This was about 2+ months ago. His mange was so terrible that the veterinarian and her assistants reacted to it. They were shocked.

But a week after he got his shot, his mange was completely gone. I could finally see his big, round eyes and he turned into hyperactive yet superhungry kitty. He was hungry all the time! He’s very clingy and loving kitty, and follows you around.

Yesterday, something horrible happened. At about 3 am, I heard a lot of dogs barking outside. Sometimes a group of stray dog would cross the street and come to my neighborhood, and usually they would make a lot of noises when they see my neighbor’s dog. I thought it was that until I heard a cat screaming. I ran down, saw the dogs ran away and then my heart just broke.

Sickness All Around

January 17, 2015 at 10:58 PM

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Wow, my new year hasn’t been starting well at all. Nonstop chains of bad luck. I’ll write in a new post about it later but I want to talk about sickness for now.

Early last month, my outdoor cat Monyet had urinary tract infection. He went missing for 5 days but thankfully he came back. Spent RM200 on him, darn expensive specialist vet. He seems to be okay now, but I haven’t been sticking to his expensive diet so i hope his UTI won’t come back, urgh.

Last month my beloved Puteh passed away due to something – I’m assuming pneumonia or at least some infection in his lung when I thought he had a normal fever. Until now I cry when I think about him, and this regret has been consuming me – regret of not taking him to the vet when I had the chance. It might or might not have saved him, but at least I took him but I didn’t. FML. Until now there’s this huge void in my life because he’s been very close to me.

Shortly after that, my other cat Botak got sick, so did my outdoor cat Gigirl Chi. I thought Botak had normal fever. It’s been raining a lot, the weather’s been cold so fever would be common. But after 3 days he wasn’t getting better nor eating at all, I decided to take him to the vet. Didn’t want to make the same mistake like I did with Puteh. He got better 🙂 Turned out to be poisoning though. That was unexpected.

Gigirl Chi had some infection or something in her mouth, prolly her teeth. She had trouble eating, prolly was too painful to eat. Whatever she wanted / could eat, I gave her, even the expensive cat food not meant for my outdoor cats. I even bought wet cat food. Well her pain worsened until she wouldn’t eat at all and for days she was hiding in the drain. I tried my best to help her but every time I gave her food, she ran away, like she was mad at me. 🙁

And this week, for the whole week, it was my turn to have food poisoning. 🙁 Unfortunately the stomach discomfort and diarrhea didn’t go away completely after 2 days. It came back yesterday. It’s been 6 days now and my stomach still feels very uncomfortable. I could barely eat anything. Urgh.

Now I saw this at an online pet pharmacy (what, how come Malaysia don’t have one??).
The link is: http://entirelypetspharmacy.com/simplicef-200mg-per-tabs.html

According to Shepped.com and from my understanding, it’s for dogs but it says – “Simplicef can be used to treat many different types of infections such as bronchitis or pneumonia as well as ear, skin, and urinary tract infections.

Is there a similar one to cats? If there isn’t, why?? It could have helped Puteh and Monyet 🙁

My cat Ketot is suffering from bad ear infection too. Taking her to the vet next week, if my own damn sickness would go away…

A Very Shit Christmas

December 25, 2014 at 8:43 AM

Merry Christmas 2014

Well, it’s Christmas day so Merry Christmas to those celebrating it.

This year has got to be the shittiest Christmas ever for me. Not only I have nobody to celebrate it with, didn’t get any presents, not even from myself like I usually would, but this week has been the most devastating Christmas week ever.

On Monday, which is 3 days ago, I lost my beloved Puteh. He was sick with fever since last week and I didn’t take him to the vet because I’m so stupid. I thought it was just a normal fever and that he was getting better. He got out of bed and all. Turned out his condition had worsened. Monday was supposed to be a good day because I won a free pizza from Vivo Pizza and was supposed to go to AEON Station 18 to enjoy it but when I woke up, Puteh started choking and I tried to rush him to the vet but he just… didn’t make it.

I don’t deserve to live. Please kill me and end my misery. The pain is too much for me. I miss him too much and I feel so guilty. God I’m such a useless human being.

The next day, my friend told me her rabbit died, and yesterday her kitten died. See how much devastation I have this week for me? But 2 days ago, my outdoor cat had 2 new babies, hopefully she can take care of them.

I was told I should blog more with less depressing stuff… well my life has been depressing and I wish I could write something happy and cheerful like I used to but there’s none. Nothing. All I’ve been doing is just sit at home, write stuff, watch stuff, eat, sleep. That’s all.

Usually I’d be spending my Christmas eve with movie marathon while munching some gingerbread cookies but this year I didn’t. I’ve already planned to watch holiday movies on Netflix but I’m too depressed to do so. I did put on HyppTV’s Comedy Central and they had ‘Chrismassy’  Saturday Night Life marathon so I guess that’s enough.

I’m just gonna watch a bit of Youtube then sleep.
My year is not ending good.

So Much Pain…

April 28, 2014 at 12:42 PM

girl_sleepingI don’t even know how to begin. I’ve been bawling my eyes out since morning. My eyes are so swollen, I look deformed right now.

About two weeks ago, I lost Keypoh, my cat. The next day after that I unexpectedly lost my kitten as well who had been sick for 2 weeks. It was such a painful tragedy because I didn’t know Keypoh was sick, and I knew my kitten was sick and I’ve been nurturing with much TLC for 2 weeks, hoping that he would be better but the next day he just.. died.

Crazy Emotional Weeks

December 9, 2012 at 9:56 AM

depressed

This past 2 weeks has been such a crazy emotional roller coaster ride. Everything that could go wrong, did. 2 weeks ago, started with Monday when my last sick kitten, Marilyn has been sick for 2 days. During the weekend I tried so very hard to sustain her life, so that she could fight the damn Feline Panleukopenia (FPV) virus but unfortunately, she just lost her will to fight and to live unlike her 3 siblings. No matter how hard I tried, she just tried to find ways to ‘run’ away from me and kept resisting me. Later that evening, as I was busy wrapping packages to send to my customers, my whole neighborhood had a blackout from 6-ish pm until like 10 pm. I had to rush to wrap and write the consignment note in the darkness, with only very dimly lit candles as my source of light and the worse….Marilyn took that chance to ‘disappear’.

After I got home from poslaju, I searched for her in the darkness everywhere and she was nowhere to be seen. It was also raining heavily that night. I gave up because she gave up. The next morning, I suddenly found her outside. She was very cold, but still alive. I took her in, but she was already too critical and dying. I was supposed to meet my friend early on that day, but I couldn’t because I wanted to be with Marilyn. She again, disappeared.

I hired some maids to clean up the house. I met my friend for an an hour before the damn agency called and said instead of 2 maids, only 1 could make it because the other one was sick. Wtf. So instead of 2 pm, they arrived at my place at 12 pm. Wtf. I left my friend at Starbucks and rushed home, only to find out shortly after that my beloved cat Chaplin was missing.

I cried so hard like nobody’s business. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Chaplin was nowhere to be found. I took care of her day and night for a week, and was happy that she survived her FPV virus but then she just went missing like that was like a final blow to me. Shortly after, the maid who was cleaning the house found Marilyn’s body behind my tiered rack. She was hiding there to die.

At about 6 pm, I tried to find my strength, and trust me, it was the hardest thing to do, to meet my friend and to hang out with her and pretend to be happy when inside I was dying. I lost my appetite for the whole day. After we got home at about 10 pm, my friend fell asleep and I took that chance to bury Marilyn. I didn’t have the heart to wait until the next day and just leave her outside.

For the next 3 days, I tried to pre-occupy myself with things to do with my friend. There were times when I was alone that I called out for Chaplin and cried. She was nowhere to be seen. My friend went back on Friday evening. I was once again alone, and then depression struck me again. I cried and begged God for miracles, that if Chaplin was still around that He would guide her back home, if somebody took her, they would return her. God did a miracle on Jimena who was also missing on the same day as Chaplin, but came back 2 days later.

On that Saturday, as I was talking to my mom and doing stuff on my computer, out of the blue I suddenly heard a kitten meowing downstairs. All my kittens were upstairs, and it was a familiar sound. With so much hope that it was who I thought it was, I rushed to the stairs to check it out and out of nowhere appeared CHAPLIN screaming her head off as if she was relieved to find her home after been missing for 4 days. I could not thank God enough for this miracle. She came back! She just appeared out of nowhere like magic! I couldn’t help myself but to cry in happiness.

So even though I was so depressed about Marilyn, at least Jimena came back and Chaplin came back. 2 miracles in a week. I just can’t express how thankful and happy I am that Chaplin is back home. Out of all the misery this past 2 months, the return of Chaplin kinda like gathers some of my strength back to get through the days. It’s been so crazy. It drove me nuts.

However Junior Tia has been quite sick again this past week with rapid breathing. I seriously hope he will recover and be back healthy again like his old self. Only time will tell. I will continue to take care of him.

Goodbye Marilyn, RIP.
I wish you did not give up on yourself, on me… but I tried so hard, and there was nothing else I could do to help.
Have fun in kitty heaven now with Junior Tam, Baby Tam, Baby Tia, Gugurl Tia and Bobo.

Wow this is a long blog entry. I haven’t been able to sleep all night long due to allergy but now that my nose has cleared up and I can breathe again, I’m gonna go make my breakfast and try to get some sleep. I hope my suffering with my cat problems will end. I just can’t take all this heartache anymore. I need to get on with my life.