This past 2 weeks has been such a crazy emotional roller coaster ride. Everything that could go wrong, did. 2 weeks ago, started with Monday when my last sick kitten, Marilyn has been sick for 2 days. During the weekend I tried so very hard to sustain her life, so that she could fight the damn Feline Panleukopenia (FPV) virus but unfortunately, she just lost her will to fight and to live unlike her 3 siblings. No matter how hard I tried, she just tried to find ways to ‘run’ away from me and kept resisting me. Later that evening, as I was busy wrapping packages to send to my customers, my whole neighborhood had a blackout from 6-ish pm until like 10 pm. I had to rush to wrap and write the consignment note in the darkness, with only very dimly lit candles as my source of light and the worse….Marilyn took that chance to ‘disappear’.
After I got home from poslaju, I searched for her in the darkness everywhere and she was nowhere to be seen. It was also raining heavily that night. I gave up because she gave up. The next morning, I suddenly found her outside. She was very cold, but still alive. I took her in, but she was already too critical and dying. I was supposed to meet my friend early on that day, but I couldn’t because I wanted to be with Marilyn. She again, disappeared.
I hired some maids to clean up the house. I met my friend for an an hour before the damn agency called and said instead of 2 maids, only 1 could make it because the other one was sick. Wtf. So instead of 2 pm, they arrived at my place at 12 pm. Wtf. I left my friend at Starbucks and rushed home, only to find out shortly after that my beloved cat Chaplin was missing.
I cried so hard like nobody’s business. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Chaplin was nowhere to be found. I took care of her day and night for a week, and was happy that she survived her FPV virus but then she just went missing like that was like a final blow to me. Shortly after, the maid who was cleaning the house found Marilyn’s body behind my tiered rack. She was hiding there to die.
At about 6 pm, I tried to find my strength, and trust me, it was the hardest thing to do, to meet my friend and to hang out with her and pretend to be happy when inside I was dying. I lost my appetite for the whole day. After we got home at about 10 pm, my friend fell asleep and I took that chance to bury Marilyn. I didn’t have the heart to wait until the next day and just leave her outside.
For the next 3 days, I tried to pre-occupy myself with things to do with my friend. There were times when I was alone that I called out for Chaplin and cried. She was nowhere to be seen. My friend went back on Friday evening. I was once again alone, and then depression struck me again. I cried and begged God for miracles, that if Chaplin was still around that He would guide her back home, if somebody took her, they would return her. God did a miracle on Jimena who was also missing on the same day as Chaplin, but came back 2 days later.
On that Saturday, as I was talking to my mom and doing stuff on my computer, out of the blue I suddenly heard a kitten meowing downstairs. All my kittens were upstairs, and it was a familiar sound. With so much hope that it was who I thought it was, I rushed to the stairs to check it out and out of nowhere appeared CHAPLIN screaming her head off as if she was relieved to find her home after been missing for 4 days. I could not thank God enough for this miracle. She came back! She just appeared out of nowhere like magic! I couldn’t help myself but to cry in happiness.
So even though I was so depressed about Marilyn, at least Jimena came back and Chaplin came back. 2 miracles in a week. I just can’t express how thankful and happy I am that Chaplin is back home. Out of all the misery this past 2 months, the return of Chaplin kinda like gathers some of my strength back to get through the days. It’s been so crazy. It drove me nuts.
However Junior Tia has been quite sick again this past week with rapid breathing. I seriously hope he will recover and be back healthy again like his old self. Only time will tell. I will continue to take care of him.
Goodbye Marilyn, RIP.
I wish you did not give up on yourself, on me… but I tried so hard, and there was nothing else I could do to help.
Have fun in kitty heaven now with Junior Tam, Baby Tam, Baby Tia, Gugurl Tia and Bobo.
Wow this is a long blog entry. I haven’t been able to sleep all night long due to allergy but now that my nose has cleared up and I can breathe again, I’m gonna go make my breakfast and try to get some sleep. I hope my suffering with my cat problems will end. I just can’t take all this heartache anymore. I need to get on with my life.
My beloved cat Bobo had just passed away.
It’s been only a month since my last 3 young cats died, and one went missing. In a month, I’ve lost 5 cats. My life changed instantly. I’ve been feeling so lonely, so empty. I tried saving Bobo but it was a huge mistake taking him to the government vet. They can’t do nothing. I can’t afford to take him to the specialist because it would cost a bomb and I need that money to take Jojo to the specialist.
Bobo had mouth ulcer which I didn’t know about. That explains why he was drooling and barely eating. Probably he barely drank much, which is why he couldn’t urinate. To say it was caused by cheap food, he’s just one year old-ish…I don’t think that can develop that fast. Took him to the vet before he collapsed, and vet just gave him two shots, and some pills without even draining his bladder. What? How could they? I read a website prior to going to the vet, this is emergency case and waiting would be fatal. And it became fatal.
But at least he’s out of pain and misery. Even though it pains me so much to let him go, but a part of me is happy that he’s no longer suffering. I couldn’t stand seeing him suffering. I am still in shock that he’s gone.. he was still okay yesterday morning, albeit weak. The shock would not kick in though until much later, when I realized there’s lesser cats welcoming me home, one less cat begging me for food.
Now I just need to give my attention to my other sick kittens and cats. I’m done crying, bawling my eyes out. I need rest. I am in so much stress, and sorrow.
Goodbye Bobo. I’m going to really miss you so goddamn much.
Please take care of Baby Tia, Junior Tam, Baby Tam for me.
And I hope Nikko will take care of you.
Rest in peace now.
I can only sigh.
I thought my problems and misery and sorrow with my sickness and death of cats last month was over and I could work on pulling myself back together but then my cat Chomot Chi had the same symptoms. It was a panicky 3 days of monitoring him so that he don’t end up like my previous cats. Alhamdulillah he survived and have now fully recovered.
Then few days ago, my 2 kittens had the symptoms. Took to the vet. Not really good news but alhamdulillah, they too, are currently showing positive signs. They have yet to fully recover and I found my cat Bobo now having trouble urinating since yesterday and so I’m suspecting FLUTD. I’m taking him to the vet this morning and hoping and praying that he will recover. My cat Jimena is also not doing well, acting strange and not eating.
This bites. I can’t take this anymore. This is really too much for me. While I’m thankful and extremely happy that some are recovering, and showing positive signs but more sick cats are really making me depressed. I’m neglecting my work, myself, my life, my blogs etc because my attention can’t be given towards all these things.
Wish me luck.
I am surprisingly in a better condition and mood since Monday (yesterday).
I’ve been so exhausted begging God for help, and I guess he had mercy on me because despite all the devastating events and tragedies that I went through for the past two weeks, I have had some unexpected ‘light’ that helped me to get through some things. For instance, on the day of my cat’s passing, unexpectedly, my neighbor’s maid offered to clean our house for 4 hours and then surprisingly her friend joined.. so what was originally meant for me to do alone, was done with help. With the death of my 2 kitten & cat, we needed to clean the house to rid of any potential virus left by them. Then on that night, I received this strength to bury Baby Tia, which is something I could never do before when my cats and kittens die.
After 3 days of deep depression, and sickness, and indulging myself in facebook gaming, I was once tested when my cat Chomot Chi got sick with the same symptoms like the rest of them. I prayed and prayed for his recovery and I had a lot of problems and challenges, but today he is looking much better. He’s beginning to respond, started eating – not much, but it’s a start and back to being aware of his surrounding, oh and also talkative again. Those positive signs helped me feel better. Though he’s not out of danger yet, but I’m extremely happy and thankful to God for the positive signs. Hopefully he will be have full recovery soon.
I’m also thankful to some people who has helped me on facebook saying nice words, giving tips and cared and concerned about me. It was unexpected.
I also saw where my kitten Junior Tam lies. It hurt me so badly the first time… to see him lying there rotting.. and smelling bad instead of having a proper burial.. some idiot cleaned the bushes thus exposing Junior Tam. But soon I realized it was what he wanted… he didn’t want me to be sad, didn’t think I’d see him but didn’t know he’d start smelling so I’d find out anyway.. but now I know his ‘resting place’, I feel relieved to know he’d always be there. My cat Gugurl Tia is still missing, but honestly, if she’s not alive, I don’t want to know. I rather have this hope that she’d come back someday rather than know what happened to her.. you know?
For the very last time, goodbye my beloved Junior Tam, Gugurl Tia, Baby Tam & Baby Tia. Thank you God for lending them to me even though it was for a very short time but at least I have had the pleasure of knowing them and taking care of them. Rest in peace now. God, please take care of them.
Well. Enough depressing stories. I’m trying hard to be strong for my remaining cats and kittens, and also for my own life’s sake. I’m still quite depressed but not as bad as before. Hopefully my streaks of bad lucks and devastating events are over now. It’s all hallows’ eve tonight.. I’m going to have my horror movie marathon. It’s been 2 years since I last ‘celebrated’ Halloween.
Last but not least, I’m going to post this overly attached girlfriend video that I watched yesterday morning. It made my day! It’s so hilarious.
The month of May last month had been the most depressing month of 2012 for me. 2 weeks before the month ended, I had streaks of bad lucks. First of all, it started out with a misunderstanding between myself and this company (in the US) and at first it didn’t look too good. That’s solved now however. Then, the unexpected happened.
My beloved kitten got terribly sick.
He has been quite weak and sick-looking for quite a while and I didn’t know why. He had been very skinny – just skin and bones but he ate fine. One thing I fear from happening again is the plague that struck my cats/kittens back in 2005 and took I think about 7 of my cats & kittens within a week. It was the most depressing thing ever. I feared it happening again, God forbid. But they didn’t show any symptoms. I went to Mydin that day – it was Tuesday. Mydin had just opened in my area and I was excited that night and I got home quite late – almost 11 pm after buying dinner. Then my mom went into the kitchen and said my kitten died?
My heart just stopped for a second.
I went to the kitchen and saw my kitten, not dead but very weak. His body was wet. I guess it was pee? So I quickly took him upstairs to dry him up with a hair dryer. He was struggling for a few minutes before he suddenly collapsed, not able to move. I took him to eat something, and he ate just a tiny bit, but his body just wasn’t responding. So then he just lay on the carpet.. I was crying, and I sat beside him for hours just watching him dying, gasping his last breaths.
It shattered my heart in million tiny bits. I can’t even describe how I felt.
I didn’t even get to eat my dinner. I was too depressed so I just went to bed, woke up the next day and was just completely heartbroken. It was around June last year when my kitten Kentoi died unexpectedly (killed). Hmmph.
Then I started the next day I started to get serious allergic reaction. I couldn’t stop sneezing and my nose was runny and hurting like a son of a bitch. For the whole day I was sneezing and sniffing and had nose block when the next day, I felt weird. My nose hurt, I couldn’t breathe, chest pain, felt cold etc. Went to the clinic that night and doc said I had a very high fever. -__- So yeah, for the next few days I was terribly sick. Maybe I was too depressed until I got sick.
My misery did not end there.. the next day other kitten died.. the next day another one.. AND the next day ANOTHER ONE. Fuck me. 3 kittens in 3 fucking days! I was so traumatized that I felt numb. They were very skinny too but they were fine? It took them just a couple of hours to become really sick and die. Fuck.
So I’m guessing they died of malnutrition and they didn’t have strong immunization against viruses. You see.. my cat Montelle (Tia) had 4 kittens, and my outdoor cat (not mine, but I just take care of her) had 4 kittens shortly after. Somehow, my cat Tia is such a slut. She abandoned her kittens. So 4 of her kittens somehow turned to my outdoor cat for milk and because they were bigger than the other 4 kittens, those poor kittens didn’t get enough milk from their own mother because of Tia’s kittens. So they died from malnutrition and probably infections or virus resulted from that.
It was just heartbreaking. So I’ve monitoring the one kitten left for signs and I’m happy to say that he seems to be looking fine right now. At least with 4 kittens left, they’ve been getting enough milk compared to when there were 8 of them. One kitten fell down the stairs again, my heart literally stopped but he seems fine now, I really hope so.
Even though I was too depressed from all of that, I am thankful to God for letting me share my time getting to know Baby Tia and the other 3 kittens. Baby Tia fell down the stairs and I thought he would die but he lived, so I’m thankful that I had time to get to know him and to love him. He’s up in kitty heaven now with my other cats and out of his whatever pain and misery he had before. RIP Baby Tia & kittens.
I also found out my hamsters had babies! WTF. I specifically asked them to give me 2 males so WTF. However they ate all of the babies and now there’s only one left. But still!