When I Was That Annoying, Angsty Teen…

February 11, 2015 at 9:09 PM

girl freaking outSo yesterday, I logged into my old livejournal and decided, out of boredom, to read some early entries.

Jeebus cripes.

I had absolutely no idea how annoying I was back then. Well, I was the typical angsty, depressed, suicidal teen with so much drama. I actually had quite an interesting life, spent too much money on unnecessary things, was a very spoiled brat who kept whining and swearing and invented many stupid words. The current me feels like I want to bash the old teen me in the head.

It’s fascinating to try to remember everything.

Luckily, everything is private and not published publicly. Can’t say the same with this blog. I have so many annoying posts from years ago that I read a few days back. I’ve had this blog since 2006. A lot of things I wrote back then were extremely personal because this domain was meant to be a private blog. Blogging has changed a lot over the years and it’s no longer just a platform for random angsty rants like it used to be. I remember how I got into massive trouble at college because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and bitched about people openly in this blog. What a huge, retarded mistake. I think it’s time for me to go back and make all those stupid and annoying posts ‘private’.

Since I have YEARS of entries to go through, I’m sure it’ll take ages. I’ll keep general posts public of course but whatever I no longer want published for the public eyes (in other words, my private life) will be hidden. I can’t delete them though because I love reading old posts and reminisce old time. But I think now it’s time that I ‘erase‘ my past from the internet and move on. I’m trying to do the same with facebook but it’s much harder. Obviously deactivating or deleting my profile is not an option. I’ve already ‘privatized’ majority of uploaded pictures though.

One thing I find upsetting when reading my old livejournal entries is the fact that I’m no longer close to my online friends as I used to be. I don’t even talk to any of them anymore, except maybe one or two once in a blue moon. I’m just not good at keeping friends I guess. Many have even deleted me from their friends list on social media sites, facebook especially. I guess I’m either still annoying, not interesting enough for them to continue the friendship, or just no longer want to be associated with me. Oh well.

Luck Is Not On My Side

February 3, 2015 at 8:28 PM

seventh angelI know previously I said I would write about my non-stop chain of bad lucks and make an entire new post about it. But now I’m too lazy. Thing is, blogging is not as exciting as it used to be. I used to write about my daily life for fun, and people I know would stop by and read and comment. Now blogging is different and my life is not interesting anymore and I’ve been so lazy and tired I just end up lying on my bed, watching youtube or netflix then sleep.

The bad luck hasn’t stopped yet. Recently my Myvi car butt-kissed another car because I lost focus for 0.5 second. Luckily there was no damage and the lady wasn’t Kiki with the steering lock although she seemed very pissed. Then my cat BamBam got sick. I noticed he had blood in his urine. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake with Puteh, thinking everything’s gonna be okay until it’s too late. Luckily I had money saved up which was supposed to be to buy stock for my business. Hopefully the RM100 I spent was worth it. Another bad luck, the specialist vet was closed for days… so I had to go to a different vet.

I had so many bad luck last month that I can’t even remember now.. well don’t even wanna remember it. Not a single day went by without having a very unlucky day. Although there was one major good thing that happened – I got my BR1M! Unexpectedly!

I had applied for BR1M since 2 years ago. The first year (when they started giving to single, unmarried person) I didn’t apply. Then the 2nd year I applied but got rejected because my name was in the database under my mom’s. So for 3rd year I applied and got rejected again because I own more than 1 car. Wtf. Luckily for this time, I could just update my info online and I did.. surprisingly when I checked my account, there it was!

I wish it was a monthly thing, not just once a year thing, especially to someone unemployed like me.

Gosh I can’t believe it’s February already. Time fly by so quickly when you just lie in bed and do nothing. Well I’m gonna go read a book and watch Netflix now. And I really miss my iMac. My laptop is lagging badly.

Toodles.

Sickness All Around

January 17, 2015 at 10:58 PM

asdasd

Wow, my new year hasn’t been starting well at all. Nonstop chains of bad luck. I’ll write in a new post about it later but I want to talk about sickness for now.

Early last month, my outdoor cat Monyet had urinary tract infection. He went missing for 5 days but thankfully he came back. Spent RM200 on him, darn expensive specialist vet. He seems to be okay now, but I haven’t been sticking to his expensive diet so i hope his UTI won’t come back, urgh.

Last month my beloved Puteh passed away due to something – I’m assuming pneumonia or at least some infection in his lung when I thought he had a normal fever. Until now I cry when I think about him, and this regret has been consuming me – regret of not taking him to the vet when I had the chance. It might or might not have saved him, but at least I took him but I didn’t. FML. Until now there’s this huge void in my life because he’s been very close to me.

Shortly after that, my other cat Botak got sick, so did my outdoor cat Gigirl Chi. I thought Botak had normal fever. It’s been raining a lot, the weather’s been cold so fever would be common. But after 3 days he wasn’t getting better nor eating at all, I decided to take him to the vet. Didn’t want to make the same mistake like I did with Puteh. He got better 🙂 Turned out to be poisoning though. That was unexpected.

Gigirl Chi had some infection or something in her mouth, prolly her teeth. She had trouble eating, prolly was too painful to eat. Whatever she wanted / could eat, I gave her, even the expensive cat food not meant for my outdoor cats. I even bought wet cat food. Well her pain worsened until she wouldn’t eat at all and for days she was hiding in the drain. I tried my best to help her but every time I gave her food, she ran away, like she was mad at me. 🙁

And this week, for the whole week, it was my turn to have food poisoning. 🙁 Unfortunately the stomach discomfort and diarrhea didn’t go away completely after 2 days. It came back yesterday. It’s been 6 days now and my stomach still feels very uncomfortable. I could barely eat anything. Urgh.

Now I saw this at an online pet pharmacy (what, how come Malaysia don’t have one??).
The link is: http://entirelypetspharmacy.com/simplicef-200mg-per-tabs.html

According to Shepped.com and from my understanding, it’s for dogs but it says – “Simplicef can be used to treat many different types of infections such as bronchitis or pneumonia as well as ear, skin, and urinary tract infections.

Is there a similar one to cats? If there isn’t, why?? It could have helped Puteh and Monyet 🙁

My cat Ketot is suffering from bad ear infection too. Taking her to the vet next week, if my own damn sickness would go away…

First Post For 2015

January 2, 2015 at 7:18 AM

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015

Glad 2014 is over. It’s been a really bad year that I don’t even want to remember. There’s not a single good thing that happened that year. Beginning of the year I lost some cats, mid of the year I lost some cats, end of the year I lost my dearest kitty unexpectedly. I also had the worst kind of sickness mid and almost end of the year. Even right now one kitty is sick.

Beginning of the year MH370 went missing, mid of the year MH17 was shot down, end of the year AirAsia QZ8501 crashed (technically not our flight but Indonesian but the brand is ours so it’s still related), plus massive flooding in some states that caused massive devastation.

My deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolences to the people affected by the tragedies mentioned above.

Then my iMac died, my TV died, my aicond died, my car died a day before Christmas, now my computer mouse died…

As for my life, eh. The only thing that’s worth remembering are the fun time I had when my friend came to Ipoh or went I went to KL to karaoke, I got myself a Kindle (FINALLY) after wishing for years, I went to Langkawi, I finally could drive my Myvi again after a few problems, celebrated Raya at my kampung for the first time in over a decade, and… that’s pretty much it.

Usually I’d write a post before new year and reminisce but don’t wanna remember anything. Didn’t even feel like celebrating, didn’t even watch the countdown. I can only hope things will change this year. I say that every new year but things never change for the better.

Oh well.

A Very Shit Christmas

December 25, 2014 at 8:43 AM

Merry Christmas 2014

Well, it’s Christmas day so Merry Christmas to those celebrating it.

This year has got to be the shittiest Christmas ever for me. Not only I have nobody to celebrate it with, didn’t get any presents, not even from myself like I usually would, but this week has been the most devastating Christmas week ever.

On Monday, which is 3 days ago, I lost my beloved Puteh. He was sick with fever since last week and I didn’t take him to the vet because I’m so stupid. I thought it was just a normal fever and that he was getting better. He got out of bed and all. Turned out his condition had worsened. Monday was supposed to be a good day because I won a free pizza from Vivo Pizza and was supposed to go to AEON Station 18 to enjoy it but when I woke up, Puteh started choking and I tried to rush him to the vet but he just… didn’t make it.

I don’t deserve to live. Please kill me and end my misery. The pain is too much for me. I miss him too much and I feel so guilty. God I’m such a useless human being.

The next day, my friend told me her rabbit died, and yesterday her kitten died. See how much devastation I have this week for me? But 2 days ago, my outdoor cat had 2 new babies, hopefully she can take care of them.

I was told I should blog more with less depressing stuff… well my life has been depressing and I wish I could write something happy and cheerful like I used to but there’s none. Nothing. All I’ve been doing is just sit at home, write stuff, watch stuff, eat, sleep. That’s all.

Usually I’d be spending my Christmas eve with movie marathon while munching some gingerbread cookies but this year I didn’t. I’ve already planned to watch holiday movies on Netflix but I’m too depressed to do so. I did put on HyppTV’s Comedy Central and they had ‘Chrismassy’  Saturday Night Life marathon so I guess that’s enough.

I’m just gonna watch a bit of Youtube then sleep.
My year is not ending good.