College

Long Monday

2
1 year ago
by Tany in , , , , ,

I wanted to write this post 2 days ago but I got tired and I got busy. Last Monday was a veeeeeery long day. My dermatologist appointment was supposed to be at 10.30 am but luckily I could call and postpone my appointment to 2 pm. That way I can go to places before I go back to my hometown.

I went to college first to get my result. GAH! I’m so disappointed in myself.. or maybe my lecturer sucks. How dare gave me A- for DTP class? (Destop Publishing). I slaved myself and spent a lot of money and stressed myself to the max to do the best yet I only managed an A-??? It’s like a fucking foundation class. It’s basic stuff. And having doing graphic since I was 13 or 14 and to just get an A- is like a huge disappointment. Where did I do wrong? >.<

I finally received my transcript! And a photocopy of my diploma. I have ‘almost’ graduated! Just waiting for my convocation to get my original diploma. My transcript – another HUGE disappointment. There are 2 C+ on each paper that ruined it. The rest are all A’s and B’s. I am angry at myself. I have no one and nothing to blame but myself. The reason for those 2 C’s was because I let group drama, bitches, emotion, depression, procrastination, lazyness, etc take over me and screwed me over. I am still thankful there are no D’s, but I could have avoided those C’s had I just fucking ignore all the drama and managed my time better.

My CGPA – 3.48

FML. Just 0.02 to 3.5. FML FML FML.

After college I went to Ikano to look for laptop table. I desperately want it. I like using my laptop while lying down and I don’t want to put my heavy laptop on my stomach anymore or my lap because it could burn my skin. I thought I wanted to go to digital mall or low yat because there’d be more choices there but I didn’t have time. I found a laptop table that’s quite cheap (RM49) instead of the usual RM60-90. It has a cooler too. So I bought it. When I was leaving the store, I bumped into my friend!

Haha didn’t think I’d bump into anyone. She was shocked at how much weight I’ve lost and how thin I look compared to the last time she saw me. She thought I was sick. >.< She said my body looks the same though ack. Need to start to exercise and concentrate on my body. Funny that I don’t feel like I’ve gone thin. Yes I’ve lost weight but I feel my body is the same because I haven’t exercised at all. I have all my sickness to thank for. Basically I haven’t been having much appetite since I’ve been back here. Hence why I look sick instead of healthy thin. The moment I stepped in KL, with all the restaurants and yummy food around me, my appetite instantly returned but as soon as I reached Ipoh.. all appetite gone. I bet the longer I stay in my hometown, I’d end up skeleton-thin.

Then I took my laptop table to the testing place to test the cooler fan. Went well, but suddenly as I was putting it back into the box I fucking slice my thumb! Apparently the aluminum or something was too thin and sharp at the bottom that it managed to slice my thumb quite deep. So all the way to my car it was bleeding a lot >.< The cut was not big or long but it was deep. Then I rushed to my dermatologist clinic.

I reached there half and hour late. But I asked them for a bandaid so it was all cool. I did my fraxel but I don’t want to describe it here because it’s gonna be in a different post. After I’m done, I went back to pick mom up then left KL at almost 6 pm. I tried to keep my speed at 120 kmph this time haha. I don’t have a life insurance so if I crash and hurt myself and wreck the car, it’s over. Worse yet, if I die. I shudder at that thought. Freaks me out. I don’t know why up until now I still don’t have any insurance. It’s important, and I should start to have some insurance by now. I still managed to reach my hometown at 7.30 pm, just in time for buka puasa (break of fast). We went straight to ayam penyet restaurant (smashed chicken restaurant) to eat. I finally reached home at almost 10 pm. Damn. I was dead tired.

Well I need to get back to work now. My face is like itching like crazy. And I also realized I left my sunblock at my PJ place.. gah. How could I forget my most important thing especially after doing fraxel? FML.

Life Wasted

5
1 year ago
by Tany in , , ,

I’ve been wasting 3 months of my life here, and probably will for another 1 month+ or so. I realized that my body becomes very tired because I haven’t been doing much. I feel life here is very slow, dull, lame and so on. Day by day I’m starting to feel very unhappy. I used to be happy here, I used to have a life. I had friends, I had bf, I had relatives… now it’s just very very very empty. Everyone has moved on to a new life, or to the other side while I’m still stuck here in this hell-hole. I feel like I want to do something, make new friends, but WHAT is there to do here?! I only have my one and only friend here and we could go out on the weekends only, that’s if she’s not busy or I’m not sick. But everytime we go out, we’d go to the same lame place.

I miss PJ. I miss my life there. I miss my friends. However my bestie is leaving me soon, and there I would be alone again. I have other friends, but she somehow turned to be the closest to me. We have a lot of things in common. We have the same interest & passion for films, we have the same interest for things, we have the same interest in food.. she’s also my sakae sushi buddy. Haha. What’s most important is our mindset. You see, it’s very hard for me to really click with people because I’m very Americanized so it’s hard for people to really understand me and my interest and the way I think. But she’s just like me, and that’s why we seem to click so well because we understand each other. I remember she was the only one who understood and loved Rocky Horror Picture Show,  found Ms Swan funny (that’s how we met haha) and would find David Lehre, Craig & Allen cute haha.  With her I don’t have to fake myself and pretend, because with others I have to sorta like ‘personalize’ myself for them.. like with malays I have to talk and act differently, and so on with chinese & indians depending on their personality. Now I have no one to go to a party or events with :( No one to spend a whole day long at the mall wandering aimlessly. I’ll miss you bitch and don’t you dare forget about me T____________T

I don’t have a lot of close friends that could understand me well. Hence why in my hometown, I only have one friend whom would still stick with me because we have a lot of things in common. She, too, mentioned quite a while ago about transferring to another state. Hence why my second ex and third ex could stick with me for a long time because one of them is Australian/Chinese and the other one is Canadian…my first malay ex stuck with me for 2 fucking days wtf… but unfortunately once you break up, they won’t give a shit anymore even if they mentioned that they would continue being best friends forever. They’re just a bunch of lies. They won’t give a shit if you die. They’ve stopped talking to you. They would only care if you’re their gf. And they aren’t the only ones.. I’ve had a couple more online years ago, 1 short fling, and 2 that was unexpected.. but they’re all just the same. That’s why relationship could destroy a person. It hurts too much.

Nobody knows how much it hurts to come back here in my hometown and not to have that certain someone with me anymore. It really fucking hurts. But I guess I’m used to this now.. I guess I’m meant to be alone for now… Whatever plans God have for me, I hope it’ll be a good one in the future.

However, I’m no longer completely broke :) My paypal money from all the online works is finally in my account since yesterday so I can re-activate my phone line, and spend some for Eid celebration. Mom also received her pension today. I’ve also received my study loan balance which was in my account for 1 second before it automatically went to my college’s account. T___T It was a bitch trying to call college yesterday to confirm if they still have my refund form but when I finally talked to the person, she mentioned it might take 2-3 weeks more to refund. I actually don’t mind, because I want to use that money in December, to buy my own Christmas gift. I’m thinking of getting myself a Mac or Macbook Pro, but I don’t know if I should spend RM4,000 at once on a mac :\ But I need a mac to do editing… at least I could freelance. But… RM4,000 could be spent on a lot of things… T__T

I feel like playing Second Life again.. just so that I don’t feel lonely but gosh, I’ve lost everything that I had before so it also hurts to go back in and not have everything that I used to have. But I still remember that SL was the only thing that saved me from insanity after my first extreme breakup and loneliness in Ipoh back in 2007. Maybe I should give it a chance again and start fresh. I just love the fact that I can be whoever I can’t be in real life. I can wear sexy costumes because I can modify myself to look sexy unlike my real self, haha. Maybe after I’m done with my friggin project I’ll try loggin in again and see how it goes.

Wow this post turned out to be longer than I intended it to be.

shrek4-poster

An Eye Exam, Shrek 4-D, Moving Balls Toy

4
1 year ago
by Tany in , , , , , , , ,

MY EYE EXAM

Last Wednesday, I had an eye exam at the college’s new faculty in the morning. I’ve been having bad allergic reactions since I’ve been in KL since 2006. So i’ve been doing a lot of rubbing on my eye. So I got worried and since the new Faculty of Optometry & Vision Sciences is opened and they offer free full eye exam at the moment, so I said why not, right? I mean it’s free. So I went to set up an appointment.

The eye exam took like an hour because it was a thorough eye exam. So you know the usual stuff – they used the machines to check the eyes, the vision, then the blurriness, check for color blind etc.. it did take like an hour-ish for it to finish. So the verdict? I’m short sighted. Which I already know.. and told him my glasses have been crooked for like ages, so I’d need a new one, but their place to sell it haven’t opened yet so he’ll give me a call when it does. Other than that, nothing wrong, which is quite a surprise to me since I’ve been having a lot of allergies. He did say I have like tiny bumps on the lid or something, which means I do have allergies so better to go to clinic to get it checked. They can only give artificial tear drop but it would be just a temporary relief.

Finished at 12 pm. Then I called my friend and we went to Ikea for lunch and had hotdog. Their hotdog and curry puffs are ‘the awesomeness’. The only cheap alternatives when you’re so damn broke haha.

SHREK 4 THE FINAL CHAPTER 3D

I was supposed to pick mom up to send to the clinic after lunch hour, but after countless tries phoning her and she didn’t pick up, I decided to watch a movie with Claudia. She wanted to watch Kick-Ass while I want to watch Shrek in 3D. You see, I’ve been a fan of Shrek movies, and since Hollywood now are so crazy with the 3D trend, I thought hey, why not watch Shrek in 3D. Besides, I want to watch it in 3D before I go back to my hometown next week because the cinema at my hometown is sooooooo lame that they don’t have 3D. Kick-Ass movie is no longer showing so it was either Shrek or A Nightmare on Elm Street. Oh I so wanna watch Nightmare on Elm Street because I wanna see how they remake the classic – even though it won’t be the same as original as Freddy isn’t played by Robert Englund (he’s the only best Freddy!) and no hot young Johnny Depp :P But Claudia didn’t want to watch scary movie so I had to force her to watch Shrek in 3D :P After all the forcing and pleading she gave in hehehehe.

I don’t want to give extensive review on the movie because I have another website for my movie reviews. The movie is good! It’s soooo hilarious. I actually love this better than the 3rd one. On the 3D review, I love watching movies in 3D. Some says 3D sucks because you don’t get like stuff coming towards you and make you go WHOOOAAA, but it’s not all about that. 3D gives you the depth also.. makes the surrounding and characters come to life as if you’re there instead of flat 2D. There are some scenes where you feel the elements go ‘out of the screen’ like smoke, those magic particles.. and like stuff almost coming to you. Overall, 3D Shrek is better than 3D Alice in Wonderland. I’ve also watched Nightmare before Christmas 3D before and it was awesome because you see the snow falls right in front of you.. the verdict? Watch in 3D if it’s ANIMATION MOVIE, but don’t watch 3D if it’s just a normal movie unless you don’t care about the effect, and just want the depth.

I wonder how they’re gonna make the last Harry Potter’s movie in 3D? They better make it good!

My favorite part of Shrek 4 is when Puss in Boots give the sad puppy dog eyes to Donkey 3 times! OMG I couldn’t stop laughing at that! OMG thinking of it now makes me laugh. That’s the funniest part ever because when my Ipoh friend and I watched the first Shrek movie, we couldn’t stop talking about how Puss in Boots did the sad eyes in the first movie.. now they made it longer so it’s even more hilarious.

Go watch Shrek 4! It’s t3h-awesomeness!

Oh yeah, while waiting for Shrek 4, we spent a long time at Daiso and discovered a new toy that is so addictive.

MOVE A BALL: BRAIN TRAINING
ムービングボール脳を活性化！

We spent a long time playing this at Daiso until after the movie, I decided to get this!

This is Claudia (her hand actually) playing with it after I bought it. When we played with it in Daiso, everybody was looking at how crazy we were with a baby rattle looking thing in our hands. So what the hell is this? It’s actually a brain training game!

How do you play this? If you can’t read the Japanese, I’ll roughly translate it for you. Basically it says the aim of the game is to have one color separated at each sides. So you have to start with all the balls mixed up at one side, then shake/roll/swing whatever you like to move one color to the other side. I find it easier to play once you have the toy out of the packaging and I find it easier to roll instead of shaking the thing. For example, you want to have blue colored balls at the right side and orange colored ball at the left side. When it’s done, it looks like this!

Done!

Haha I love that girl cartoon! That’s how I look like when I play the toy. It makes you frustrated, it makes you cuss, it makes you happy, it makes you giggle.. basically the toy will fuck with your head. Haha. Love it.

Only in Daiso! Geez, the Japanese and their crazy inventions.. even a simple toy that looks like a baby rattle that cost RM 5 (100 yen, or around USD 1+) can make you addicted. But it’s fun, so what the hell. I actually played with this when I went shopping with mom after that and everybody was looking at me.

Oh I also got the book “Pride & Prejudice & Zombies“.. yay! Finally. I love anything with zombies. I’ve read “I am Scrooged: A Zombie Story for Christmas” before and I loved it! I’m the kind of person who hates reading books unless it’s very interesting.. so zombies? Of course it’s interesting :D Since I have not read the original Pride & Prejudice, so this is the time right? With a little bit of zombies to add the spice.

deans list

The Dean’s List Part 1

2
2 years ago
by Tany in , ,

Dean's List

That’s right bitchessss.. I’m in the dean’s list :D

To some it may not be a big deal, to some it may be the biggest deal in their life. Mine is the latter. It is a very big deal to me. Allow me to be vain for a minute to have a temporary enjoyment.

If you knew me since I was little, then you would know I have a bad history when in comes to academic life. I hated studying. I didn’t want to study because I lack the interest in subjects I took. I made the biggest mistake in transferring to technic school just so I could be in science stream. I loathe math or anything that has to do with numbers. I never cared about additional math, physics, chemistry let alone mechanical engineering stuff. That’s for guys and I’m also never gonna use it. I studied foundation in business.. I flunked accounting and business math.. I took executive secretaryship, I aced most of the subject but flunked in guess what subject..? BOOKEEPING (simpler version of accounting). I’m not cut out to be working in an industry which involves a lot of numbers. I can’t force myself. I liked to skip school. I was homeschooled which in Malaysia is equivalent to being a high school dropout.

However if I love doing something, I do it at full force. I’ll give my 150%.

When I entered my current college, many of my relatives would think ‘Oh no.. not again. She’d just quit halfway like in everything else she does‘. Well I proved everyone who thinks that wrong. Especially my mom. I finally finished my studies and guess what? Without failing any subjects and repeating them. My lowest grade that I’ve gotten in this college is C+ for two subjects due to production, technical and well, personal problems. And I was surprised when my friend told me that my name is in the dean’s list.

What a great way to end my almost 3 years of studying!

I’m not an overachiever. I just wanted to prove my mom that when I’m doing something I love, I’d do my best. Yes, my mom was against me taking arts course so my mom was against me taking video & animation course. She (and my uncles) was part of the reason I made the huge mistake in high school of switching from art stream to science engineering stream. She’s the typical conservative parent that thinks if you’re not a doctor, lawyer, architect or engineer, then you’re nothing. She also thought that when I entered this college, I’d flunk halfway. Guess not, huh mom?

I thought I would to. When I had a huge problem with my team mate and caused a commotion and had a lot of people against me, boycotting me, even by the staff and lecturers and was ‘blacklisted’. Yeah, I was a rebel, so sue me. Haha. I had to quit being a student leader and had to keep low profile for a while.. sorta just like disappear into the background instead of getting attention. Slowly I made new friends with my juniors, we all became very good friends and I got back up on my two feet again. It was a struggle during my 2nd year of studies. With all the problems I had in college & relationship, I thought I was gonna commit suicide from the depression.

So this is why I am proud of myself for overcoming my own depression (which I couldn’t in my other studies before, with the same problems of team mate problem, people boycotting etc) so being in the dean’s list is the greatest achievement I had in my college life. At least I’m part of ‘something‘ I never had the chance to be.

Coming up — photos from the dean’s list party!

Officially Graduated

1
2 years ago
by Tany in , , ,

As of last Thursday, I have officially finished my studies!

And yesterday was the faculty’s first convocation. My batch had their convo yesterday. Yes I’m very sad I couldn’t join, because they told me I COULD join the convo unless I have an exam based subject and they LIED. They like to lie to your face, giving you hope then crush it later. Anyways. My final presentation for DTP was on Thursday morning. Before that I barely got any sleep trying to finish my DVD cover design because they quoted me that I’d need at least RM200 to print a custom maltese cross digipak boxset.. Are they CRAZY? I’m NOT spending that much for a first semester elective subject. I mean even if I did shit, I’d still pass it with an average.. so I had one day to redesign everything and get it printed before shop closes on Wednesday.. From supposedly RM200, my revised design with standard DVD cost me only RM33 (+RM5). Not bad. I had a DVD box, 3 covers, one 8 pages booklet and 2 CD labels.

Yeah my presentation went well. They were expecting a good design from me anyway cuz hey.. I’m a senior.. a supposedly graduated senior.. if I give shit work, then I should ask myself this: “What have I learned in the past 2 1/2 years??”

I did however wasted RM5 to reprint my cd label because they got it wrong.. the print was off.. even after fixing, they STILL got the printing wrong. Wtf. So basically I wasted RM5 and I didn’t need to reprint. I should have just showed them the other one, cuz that’s the one they took anyway. Now printing part. I sent my stuff for printing on wednesday afternoon around 1.30 pm.. and they told me they couldn’t finish on that day, wtf. I was panicking so I begged them to print my stuff first because the other 2 printing shops nearby there are shit. One couldn’t print and one prints like shit. Oh yeah, story about the other printing place!

This place is called AD print shop or something.. in dataran sunway. Not only I was greeted with a sour grumpy cranky face by the Indian lady, but everytime I told her what I need and how I need my stuff printed she would sighed and mutter to herself in Indian which seems to me like she was cursing or something in TAMIL. EVERYTIME. EVERY FUCKING TIME I told her I need this and that she would become a whiny bitch. WTF BITCH. I’m a paying customer! You’re supposed to follow my demand because it’s MY project. If you print it wrongly then I’m the one who is screwed and having to pay for your mistakes! If you want to be a grumpy sourbitch, then don’t fucking work. Thank you.

Anyways.

At 5 pm I went back to the printing shop to see how they print my stuff .. well.. images turned out great, except for some photos which were too dark because I couldn’t estimate the brightness setting after printing.. but small matter. There were a lot of mess-ups like cd label print was off, the box was a bit small, the cover was too small then too big.. the booklet was off a bit.. but after hours being there, I solved most of my problems.. my friends joined me to print and we stayed until like 8 pm there because they, too, had problems. Then one of them took out a pirated dvd because the dvd case I bought wouldn’t fit and guess what? His casing fit! So I was searching for my dvd casing until like 11-ish pm.. luckily there’s a pirated dvd store nearby my place and I asked him if he would sell me the casing but instead he gave it to me for free :D Nice dude.

So overall… I’m satisfied with my final work. I have blogs and photos to post later so stay tuned.

Oh yeah, here’s what my DVD looks like! Sorry I forgot to take a photo of the cd and booklet.. silly me.

DVD Box - FRONT

DVD Box - FRONT

The front of my DVD box.. the inside case cover is the same except the graphic is toned down.. the cover doesn’t have the name titles.. but instead they’re at the back.

DVD Box - BACK

DVD Box - BACK

The only thing I’m not satisfied for the back cover is the dark pics and the bottom text.. again, I couldn’t estimate the size of the text and it ended too small! Working on the covers I barely had any sleep.. and my college years have seriously left me dark circles and wrinkles under my eyes.. I do have eye cream for dark circles which is treating my panda eyes sloooowly but for wrinkles?! I look 10 years older with tired eyes! T___T Help.

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