Crazy Emotional Weeks

December 9, 2012 at 9:56 AM

depressed

This past 2 weeks has been such a crazy emotional roller coaster ride. Everything that could go wrong, did. 2 weeks ago, started with Monday when my last sick kitten, Marilyn has been sick for 2 days. During the weekend I tried so very hard to sustain her life, so that she could fight the damn Feline Panleukopenia (FPV) virus but unfortunately, she just lost her will to fight and to live unlike her 3 siblings. No matter how hard I tried, she just tried to find ways to ‘run’ away from me and kept resisting me. Later that evening, as I was busy wrapping packages to send to my customers, my whole neighborhood had a blackout from 6-ish pm until like 10 pm. I had to rush to wrap and write the consignment note in the darkness, with only very dimly lit candles as my source of light and the worse….Marilyn took that chance to ‘disappear’.

After I got home from poslaju, I searched for her in the darkness everywhere and she was nowhere to be seen. It was also raining heavily that night. I gave up because she gave up. The next morning, I suddenly found her outside. She was very cold, but still alive. I took her in, but she was already too critical and dying. I was supposed to meet my friend early on that day, but I couldn’t because I wanted to be with Marilyn. She again, disappeared.

I hired some maids to clean up the house. I met my friend for an an hour before the damn agency called and said instead of 2 maids, only 1 could make it because the other one was sick. Wtf. So instead of 2 pm, they arrived at my place at 12 pm. Wtf. I left my friend at Starbucks and rushed home, only to find out shortly after that my beloved cat Chaplin was missing.

I cried so hard like nobody’s business. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Chaplin was nowhere to be found. I took care of her day and night for a week, and was happy that she survived her FPV virus but then she just went missing like that was like a final blow to me. Shortly after, the maid who was cleaning the house found Marilyn’s body behind my tiered rack. She was hiding there to die.

At about 6 pm, I tried to find my strength, and trust me, it was the hardest thing to do, to meet my friend and to hang out with her and pretend to be happy when inside I was dying. I lost my appetite for the whole day. After we got home at about 10 pm, my friend fell asleep and I took that chance to bury Marilyn. I didn’t have the heart to wait until the next day and just leave her outside.

For the next 3 days, I tried to pre-occupy myself with things to do with my friend. There were times when I was alone that I called out for Chaplin and cried. She was nowhere to be seen. My friend went back on Friday evening. I was once again alone, and then depression struck me again. I cried and begged God for miracles, that if Chaplin was still around that He would guide her back home, if somebody took her, they would return her. God did a miracle on Jimena who was also missing on the same day as Chaplin, but came back 2 days later.

On that Saturday, as I was talking to my mom and doing stuff on my computer, out of the blue I suddenly heard a kitten meowing downstairs. All my kittens were upstairs, and it was a familiar sound. With so much hope that it was who I thought it was, I rushed to the stairs to check it out and out of nowhere appeared CHAPLIN screaming her head off as if she was relieved to find her home after been missing for 4 days. I could not thank God enough for this miracle. She came back! She just appeared out of nowhere like magic! I couldn’t help myself but to cry in happiness.

So even though I was so depressed about Marilyn, at least Jimena came back and Chaplin came back. 2 miracles in a week. I just can’t express how thankful and happy I am that Chaplin is back home. Out of all the misery this past 2 months, the return of Chaplin kinda like gathers some of my strength back to get through the days. It’s been so crazy. It drove me nuts.

However Junior Tia has been quite sick again this past week with rapid breathing. I seriously hope he will recover and be back healthy again like his old self. Only time will tell. I will continue to take care of him.

Goodbye Marilyn, RIP.
I wish you did not give up on yourself, on me… but I tried so hard, and there was nothing else I could do to help.
Have fun in kitty heaven now with Junior Tam, Baby Tam, Baby Tia, Gugurl Tia and Bobo.

Wow this is a long blog entry. I haven’t been able to sleep all night long due to allergy but now that my nose has cleared up and I can breathe again, I’m gonna go make my breakfast and try to get some sleep. I hope my suffering with my cat problems will end. I just can’t take all this heartache anymore. I need to get on with my life.