RIP, Kentoi…

June 13, 2011 at 11:55 PM

RIP KENTOI (Sunday, June 12th, 2011)

 

It pains me badly to write about this. I’ve done a lot of sleeping and crying today and last night..

I came back last night to find my cat, Kentoi who was my outdoor car closest to me and extremely loving dead on the road.. I suspect he got hit by a vehicle. He liked to sit on the road no matter how many times I tried to tell him not to… I just can’t describe the feeling I was feeling. Extreme sadness, extreme shock and extreme guilt… guilt because this past couple of days I didn’t see him much.. everytime I give my outdoor cats food I would push him out whenever he wanted to come in.. it’s because my mom has been bitching about my cats so I had no choice but to keep him out.. little did I know that it was a sign that he’s going to be leaving me.. maybe it was God’s way of keeping me away from him so that I don’t feel sad.. but I do.. plus the guilt.

I can’t put his picture up yet, too much pain.

It feels very lonely now without him.. it feels empty and missing.. even though I still all my other cats but it’s just not the same.. the house is not the same anymore… God… this is painful.

I’m gonna watch DVD now to stop my mind from thinking about him or I’ll end up crying badly again.

Hope he’s having fun in kitty heaven 🙁