Archive for January, 2011
I was supposed to write something on ATV Accessories but I have no idea what to write about it so I’m gonna write about something else.
Yesterday was just a very, very, very bad day. Started out at 2 or 3 am. Realized my outdoor kitties weren’t outside so I figured the mother must have took them to my neighbor’s house. The last time that happened, one kitten hid inside the car’s engine area and my neighbor just drove away WITH her inside. Poor kitty. I blamed myself for not doing anything that night because I thought the brother and mother would lead her back home. Boy was I wrong. I’ve been depressed about it. I wasn’t gonna let the same thing happen again.
So at 3 am I went outside, with dogs barking so loud, empty neighborhood… calling out to my kitties. I was totally risking my life there but I didn’t care. I managed to lead one back home but as soon as I picked him up, he was so terrified and fucking bit me. My left index finger and my right palm. I was in so much pain, bleeding bad, but I managed to take him home. So ignoring the stinging pain, I went back for my 2nd kitty. This one was the hardest. I just stood outside, calling to her, with food as bait and my other fucking neighbor went outside to check! With a torchlight some more. Asking who I was and what I was doing.
I was so embarrassed but seriously, that wasn’t my priority. After he found out who I was and what I was doing, he was quite nice to help me to open the gate so I could go in as he has spare keys. I was fricken scared if the owner wakes up and find out the other neighbor let me in at 4 am! Wtf. What an experience. But no, after almost an half an hour, no luck. So he left me alone and after a while, she finally took my bait. Fuck me. Luckily she wasn’t struggling as much as the other kitten or I might get bitten bad again.
After putting medication and stuff, I just wanted to rest. The partially blind kitten wanted to go inside and I told her no. Unfortunately that was the last time I saw her because when I woke up at almost noon, she was gone. She ran away. I now feel guilty as hell. I HATE THIS FEELING. I shouldn’t have pushed her away. Fuck me fuck me fuck me. So despite having the other 2 kittens back, I lost this partially blind kitten. This just add to my many list of regrets in the cats category. If you make insensitive remark on this, FUCK YOU, DROP DEAD AND GO TO HELL YOU INSENSITIVE FUCK.
My misery did not end there. Googling about cat bites led me to feeling paranoid. So I went to the clinic. Do you have any idea how hard it was to find a clinic that’s opened on Sunday in my hometown?! Found one, was hoping for no injection but the doc was so friendly and nice and sweet so I didn’t freak out. It wasn’t bad thank God. I was afraid I’d get the tetanus shot like when I stepped on a nail about 2 years ago or so. Fucking hurt like hell. I couldn’t move nor let anything or anyone touch my arm. I had a shot to the butt when I was in elementary school for cat bite.. wasn’t able to sit for a week. I still feel something to my right arm now but it isn”t as bad.
Went back home, and my friend coincidentally was having a bad day too and we were supposed to go out with a couple of other people last night. He had a series of unfortunate events and wtf he was just blasting out his rage to me. Seriously, I was still in pain, wasn’t feeling well, and I had to listen to someone going on and on about his anger and hatred and shit? I had my own series of unfortunate events, do you see me yelling and hating and screaming about how life is unfair? Fuck me. NOT something I need at time like that. He also told me that he saw a crushed kitten nearby .. THANKS. Such an appropriate time to let me know that! Now I keep wondering if it was that missing half blind kitten of mine. GOD. I don’t need this shit. IGNORANCE IS BLISS.
Whatever, fuck this shit. I need to be alone this week. I’ll just do my work quietly and hope my luck will change. I’m just too depressed to care about anything or anyone right now. I’m shutting down communication for a day or so because I don’t want to get more depressed now. I’ll be fine. Just need some time alone. The only good thing is that I had absolutely no appetite to eat yesterday for the whole day. Just had a small box of orange juice, that’s all. And 24 hours later, I’m still not hungry. Keep this up and I’ll be skinny in no time. Unfortunately I don’t want to get sicker so have to eat something later. Oh and my palm and finger are not stinging/throbbing or swollen anymore yay. Just a little bit weird feeling for my whole right arm but should be ok soon.
Do you have acne problem? If you don’t or have not had any, I hate you… for being so lucky. it’s hard to find acne products that really work at the store unless you go to the dermatologist..if you have severe acne they’ll give you roaccutane but that fucks me up.. with my menstrual cycle. I don’t know why, and it’s not even part of the side effect but it affects me. Is there any good acne products out there that really works? Because I’m sick of going back with accutane and get side effects… (it does work wonder though).
I’m just typing random crap now because I can’t sleep, and I’m taking a break from watching ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ and I have no mood to do anything else. It has also been 2 months now and I still have spots on my face due to acne from stress. I wish I can get something from www.getacnetreatments.com to try because apparently my current meds aren’t doing a thing.. come to think about it, none of my meds for everything else are working. Or maybe I’m just not following like I’m supposed to.
Another random thing – My mind currently is fucked. You see, I was playing around with my outdoor cats and kittens, called out to them and suddenly I heard a voice of a kitten crying out from my neighbor’s house.. I took a look and THERE WAS A KITTEN! And it came to me when I called her, and she looked lost.. so I went outside and called her to me and she came running to me. It broke my heart to find out that one of her eyes is blind! OMG. That’s just sad. Reminded me of my deceased kitty, Bambi who was blind in one eye.
I couldn’t find her mother, and she was clinging to me.. I just didn’t have the heart to leave her outside but I can’t take her in. DAMN. Why am I always stuck with this kind of dilemma. So I showed her this shoe shelf/cupboard and kinda told her to hide in there and later I found out that she went back to the cupboard and stayed there! OMG. She listened to me…or understood me? I have 2 other kittens that I’m trying hard to tame, and this one is already so clingy to me after first met? She also went to the door and called for me.. this is killing me.. then at 3 am or so, a stray cat came and tried to do something to her. She was screaming and shit and I went out (at 3 am mind you) to shoo that stupid stray cat… now I’m worried. She’s partially BLIND okay? A still a kitten.. oh poor kitten.
Ahhh what to do with her… I just don’t have the heart to leave her alone as none of my outdoor kitties would get along with her, and can’t take her in ..I really hate myself. If anything happens to her, I’M REALLY GONNA BE DEPRESSED. It’s enough that I’m still not over the depression of losing one kitten earlier this month due to my own mistake, now this?
This past week I’ve been watching season 4 of Hell’s Kitchen (uncensored version) on Youtube. You see, I’ve never watched Hell’s Kitchen. The reason is because no show is good when it’s censored. The best thing about Gordon Ramsay is that he’s an absolute potty mouth and his insults are very hilarious (unless it’s directed to you then it’s fricken scary). They’ve started showing Masterchef US and Junior Masterchef on TV now so I decided to look in youtube for Hell’s Kitchen’s clips and found some full season uploaded uncensored so yay.
It’s friggin addicting, that show. Watching Chef Gordon Ramsay shouting and insulting and swearing is hilarious. I’ve been pretty down since yesterday so watching this show sorta cheers me up a bit. I’ve also started playing the game in Nintendo DS that I had AGES ago but never really played it much. I get bored easily. It’s actually quite an okay game, if you don’t mind doing things repetitively over and over again.
Anyways, I’m starting back on my diet again. I need fat burning pills. I don’t think the yucky tasting herbs pill I’m taking is doing any good except making me want to puke. Where can i buy apidexin or anything similar? I need fat burning pills damnit. I’ve seriously fucked up my diet due to depression… And I can’t exercise much either because apparently lately my inhaler isn’t doing much in helping with my asthma attack. Maybe I need to see the doctor.
Back to Hell’s Kitchen season 5 now.. I love how they get a few people who has absolutely no potential to be a chef to cause ‘drama’ in the show (or any show) for rating and excitement.
My January was off with a good start until this week. Oh man, my mom just pisses me off so badly that I feel I want to hang myself. It’s just so frustrating to talk to someone whose mindset is so conservative and stuck in the 50s and 60s. Someone who refused to get with the time. It’s just so damn frustrating when they don’t understand the way of life nowadays and insist that you follow their ways – back in the 60s. Fuck that shit.
2 days ago I was at Tesco, and I was buying quite a lot of groceries… I’m so disappointed with Tesco at the moment. It’s the only place to shop here in Ipoh for food, and guess what? I went to the ice cream section and it was EMPTY. That’s right EMPTY. There was only like 3 kinds of shitty ice cream. they’re prolly moving it somewhere, or something, because they just recently shifted things around and it’s so confusing, but at least have the decency to put a friggin NOTICE instead of letting me be excited, buying the whipped cream and chocolate syrup to eat with it only to find out their ice cream section is FRIGGIN EMPTY. Also almost all the time, when their stock is finished, it takes them a LONG time to restock. So good luck in finding what you want there. I’ve been wanting paprika (the cheap one from the packet) and it took them a month or so to restock.
Then comes the payment time. OH MY GOD. People were queuing up and it wasn’t even the weekend! It was on a Tuesday. I know Chinese New Year is coming up, but at least be considerate and open up MORE CASHIER COUNTERS. Jeebus cripes. Imagine this, there were …let’s say…if there was 15 counters, only 5 or so were opened minus the fast lane. There were long lines of queue and each one of them had a trolley FULL of STUFF. It’s even worst that the cashier is slow as fuck. Come on, they’re using those barcode scanner thing and not manually keying the price so it should be fast right? Well..I had 3 person before me, and it took almost an hour for my turn.. and when it was my turn she was so slow that I had to put all my stuff in the bags myself or else it would take like 20 minutes. And I didn’t even have that much of stuff to begin with. And this happens everytime I went there since I got back – which is 6 months ago. And my mom is old with a bad knees, standing for so long hurts her knees and there’s no fast lane for senior citizen?!
Tesco, pull yourself together and get your shit together. If only Giant hypermarket isn’t so far away in Tambun, it would be my new place to shop at.