Archive for January, 2011

I was supposed to write something on ATV Accessories but I have no idea what to write about it so I’m gonna write about something else.

Yesterday was just a very, very, very bad day. Started out at 2 or 3 am. Realized my outdoor kitties weren’t outside so I figured the mother must have took them to my neighbor’s house. The last time that happened, one kitten hid inside the car’s engine area and my neighbor just drove away WITH her inside. Poor kitty. I blamed myself for not doing anything that night because I thought the brother and mother would lead her back home. Boy was I wrong. I’ve been depressed about it. I wasn’t gonna let the same thing happen again.

So at 3 am I went outside, with dogs barking so loud, empty neighborhood… calling out to my kitties. I was totally risking my life there but I didn’t care. I managed to lead one back home but as soon as I picked him up, he was so terrified and fucking bit me. My left index finger and my right palm. I was in so much pain, bleeding bad, but I managed to take him home. So ignoring the stinging pain, I went back for my 2nd kitty. This one was the hardest. I just stood outside, calling to her, with food as bait and my other fucking neighbor went outside to check! With a torchlight some more. Asking who I was and what I was doing.

I was so embarrassed but seriously, that wasn’t my priority. After he found out who I was and what I was doing, he was quite nice to help me to open the gate so I could go in as he has spare keys. I was fricken scared if the owner wakes up and find out the other neighbor let me in at 4 am! Wtf. What an experience. But no, after almost an half an hour, no luck. So he left me alone and after a while, she finally took my bait. Fuck me. Luckily she wasn’t struggling as much as the other kitten or I might get bitten bad again.

After putting medication and stuff, I just wanted to rest. The partially blind kitten wanted to go inside and I told her no. Unfortunately that was the last time I saw her because when I woke up at almost noon, she was gone. She ran away. I now feel guilty as hell. I HATE THIS FEELING. I shouldn’t have pushed her away. Fuck me fuck me fuck me. So despite having the other 2 kittens back, I lost this partially blind kitten. This just add to my many list of regrets in the cats category. If you make insensitive remark on this, FUCK YOU, DROP DEAD AND GO TO HELL YOU INSENSITIVE FUCK.

My misery did not end there. Googling about cat bites led me to feeling paranoid. So I went to the clinic. Do you have any idea how hard it was to find a clinic that’s opened on Sunday in my hometown?! Found one, was hoping for no injection but the doc was so friendly and nice and sweet so I didn’t freak out. It wasn’t bad thank God. I was afraid I’d get the tetanus shot like when I stepped on a nail about 2 years ago or so. Fucking hurt like hell. I couldn’t move nor let anything or anyone touch my arm. I had a shot to the butt when I was in elementary school for cat bite.. wasn’t able to sit for a week. I still feel something to my right arm now but it isn”t as bad.

Went back home, and my friend coincidentally was having a bad day too and we were supposed to go out with a couple of other people last night. He had a series of unfortunate events and wtf he was just blasting out his rage to me. Seriously, I was still in pain, wasn’t feeling well, and I had to listen to someone going on and on about his anger and hatred and shit? I had my own series of unfortunate events, do you see me yelling and hating and screaming about how life is unfair? Fuck me. NOT something I need at time like that. He also told me that he saw a crushed kitten nearby .. THANKS. Such an appropriate time to let me know that! Now I keep wondering if it was that missing half blind kitten of mine. GOD. I don’t need this shit. IGNORANCE IS BLISS.

Whatever, fuck this shit. I need to be alone this week. I’ll just do my work quietly and hope my luck will change. I’m just too depressed to care about anything or anyone right now. I’m shutting down communication for a day or so because I don’t want to get more depressed now. I’ll be fine. Just need some time alone. The only good thing is that I had absolutely no appetite to eat yesterday for the whole day. Just had a small box of orange juice, that’s all. And 24 hours later, I’m still not hungry. Keep this up and I’ll be skinny in no time. Unfortunately I don’t want to get sicker so have to eat something later. Oh and my palm and finger are not stinging/throbbing or swollen anymore yay. Just a little bit weird feeling for my whole right arm but should be ok soon.