Archive for November, 2010

Hi.

If you’ve seen my twitter last Friday I sounded very unhappy. There was a reason. A disturbing one. I wanted to blog about it sooner but I haven’t been in the mood. Tonight I feel like blogging so here’s my story.

You see, my ‘adopted’ cousin had been staying at my place for more than 2 weeks. She’s a bit cuckoo in the head.. well not fully. I mean she has a problem with her life.. of course she would be. She had a dysfunctional family. Her adopted mom passed away when she was young. Her dad (my uncle) married my maid who turned out to be quite abusive and well, down right satanic. Seriously. Then the dad passed away so she’s been living with her brothers. So she’s a bit messed up in the head. I assume she would have a lot of problems with her life.

She’s a slow learner but a very big talker. She talks and talks and talks and WOULD NOT shut up. She can go on for hours. I usually don’t mind talkative person since I am very talkative myself but she talks a lot of rubbish. 90% either don’t make sense, big lies, sugar coated stories or over-dramatic and over-exaggerated crap. She’s 18 but acts like 5 year old who still sleeps sucking her thumb and twirling her hair.

The first few days she was here was HELL. The first night she ended up crying her ass off wanting to go home.. then the next few days she’d end up screaming in her sleep, calling out her brother’s name. She keeps thinking about stuff she shouldn’t be thinking about. It annoys me to hell. She wouldn’t sleep alone. She has to sleep with us, no matter how suffocating it would be. She wouldn’t leave me alone. She clings to me like a bubblegum to the hair. I couldn’t do my work because she kept on yapping about stuff two or three times. But I tried to make her happy… I spent so much buying her food, treating her at expensive places, take her to places etc just to make her happy.. and eventually she seems happy and stopped having nightmares and calling out her brother’s name.

WHAT HAPPENED LAST FRIDAY

I didn’t have enough sleep that day… because I didn’t want to oversleep. I had Harry Potter 7 part 1 to catch in the morning and I already bought the ticket. After the movie, I did my hair… I was very sleepy in the saloon and getting cranky. I got home at almost 8 pm. Haven’t eaten anything, I thought I get to buy the super yummy burger in front of my house… turns out the dude wasn’t selling that night… I was cranky and sorta hungry and disappointed… PLUS my domain expired. I wanted to borrow mom’s card to renew my domain… she got bitchy. It’s not like I couldn’t pay her pay instantly.. it’s just that my ATM card cannot be used, and I didn’t topup my other debit card.. don’t know what was mom’s problem.. so I was already very cranky.

Then I told mom something my cousin told me, and she got bitchy at my cousin… which in turn pissed me off big time because I told her in private… so arguments started. Somehow, my cousin who had absolutely nothing to do with anything started crying and bitching and that’s when all hell broke lose.

My cousin got possessed by a yakuza or a serious mafia’s spirit.. maybe Al Capone or someone…

She turned into this little scary devil that suddenly started screaming and threatening to leave the house. Mom and I who were arguing about my domain ended up trying to console her.. but alas, she was badly possessed. OH GOD. You have no idea how scary her stare was. If her stare could shoot daggers, I would’ve been stabbed by 100000 daggers at that time. It was so scary. Mom kept consoling her and she kept pushing mom away. I was so scared that she’d push so hard and mom would fall and hurt herself..

I wanted to beat the crap out of that bitch. But I couldn’t. I was holding back all of my anger and rage. I was fuming with rage like I have never felt before. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to beat her into pulp.

I screamed at her. She screamed at me. Mom got in the way. Mom didn’t want me to speak or do anything. I couldn’t do anything. Doing something would cause my cousin to go apeshit on me. She wouldn’t let me go upstairs, go out, and she’d even go crazy when i wasn’t doing anything. She went apeshit when I was crying, wasn’t crying, talking and wasn’t talking, sitting or standing… basically EVERYTHING I did would trigger her crazyness. I wanted to shoot myself dead at that moment.

Things got crazier when she rushed to the kitchen and FUCKING PULLED OUT A KNIFE. OH MY GOD. A FUCKING KNIFE. WTF. WHAT THE FUCK, I TELL YOU. She was threatening to stab herself. Mom wanted to calm her down and kept hugging her and it pissed me off to no end, plus scared the crap out of me. What if she accidentally stabbed my mom? Oh God. The horror. Wanted to call the police… I couldn’t. Wanted to call her brother but mom wouldn’t let me. I was fucking terrified.

That’s when I tweeted, hoping somebody would respond.. willing to be the ears to listen… I wanted to talk to somebody badly.. just in case somebody got stabbed, or murdered… at least somebody would know I didn’t start it all…I decided to call her brother anyway.. and her brother rushed here, he screamed at her and eventually she was knocked back into her senses. She started to pray and actually calmed down.

Thank you Allison for hearing my rant on the phone. I managed to let out some frustration… so that night I told her brother to take her back no matter what. I didn’t want her in the house, scared of what could happen. After they all left, I spent about an hour or so calling my friend who luckily wasn’t asleep yet. She was laughing so hard and I ended up cracking jokes so it cheered me up that night, and I didn’t have suicidal thoughts after that.

However my anger towards my cousin was so extreme that I was cranky for two days, until I managed to go apeshit myself on Sunday… I’m cool after that.. however not for a long time because my cousin kept wanting to send her her as she’s going to boarding school or something in KL next week for a long time. I kept delaying until tonight (Friday) when they showed up at my house.

So she’s back.

Well it’s ok… I can control myself for just 2 nights. She’ll be gone by Sunday for a long time. Maybe for another 10 years. If it wasn’t for that incident last Friday, I would still love her. Now all I have it’s pure anger. Rage. Hatred.

That night could have ended up with a tragedy. Most probably with me beating the shit out of her. I would be in jail after…fuck my life and I might end up committing suicide in jail… or somebody getting accidentally stabbed and died… I shudder at that thought. Thank God none of that happened.

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