Archive for August, 2010
I wanted to write this post 2 days ago but I got tired and I got busy. Last Monday was a veeeeeery long day. My dermatologist appointment was supposed to be at 10.30 am but luckily I could call and postpone my appointment to 2 pm. That way I can go to places before I go back to my hometown.
I went to college first to get my result. GAH! I’m so disappointed in myself.. or maybe my lecturer sucks. How dare gave me A- for DTP class? (Destop Publishing). I slaved myself and spent a lot of money and stressed myself to the max to do the best yet I only managed an A-??? It’s like a fucking foundation class. It’s basic stuff. And having doing graphic since I was 13 or 14 and to just get an A- is like a huge disappointment. Where did I do wrong? >.<
I finally received my transcript! And a photocopy of my diploma. I have ‘almost’ graduated! Just waiting for my convocation to get my original diploma. My transcript – another HUGE disappointment. There are 2 C+ on each paper that ruined it. The rest are all A’s and B’s. I am angry at myself. I have no one and nothing to blame but myself. The reason for those 2 C’s was because I let group drama, bitches, emotion, depression, procrastination, lazyness, etc take over me and screwed me over. I am still thankful there are no D’s, but I could have avoided those C’s had I just fucking ignore all the drama and managed my time better.
My CGPA – 3.48
FML. Just 0.02 to 3.5. FML FML FML.
After college I went to Ikano to look for laptop table. I desperately want it. I like using my laptop while lying down and I don’t want to put my heavy laptop on my stomach anymore or my lap because it could burn my skin. I thought I wanted to go to digital mall or low yat because there’d be more choices there but I didn’t have time. I found a laptop table that’s quite cheap (RM49) instead of the usual RM60-90. It has a cooler too. So I bought it. When I was leaving the store, I bumped into my friend!
Haha didn’t think I’d bump into anyone. She was shocked at how much weight I’ve lost and how thin I look compared to the last time she saw me. She thought I was sick. >.< She said my body looks the same though ack. Need to start to exercise and concentrate on my body. Funny that I don’t feel like I’ve gone thin. Yes I’ve lost weight but I feel my body is the same because I haven’t exercised at all. I have all my sickness to thank for. Basically I haven’t been having much appetite since I’ve been back here. Hence why I look sick instead of healthy thin. The moment I stepped in KL, with all the restaurants and yummy food around me, my appetite instantly returned but as soon as I reached Ipoh.. all appetite gone. I bet the longer I stay in my hometown, I’d end up skeleton-thin.
Then I took my laptop table to the testing place to test the cooler fan. Went well, but suddenly as I was putting it back into the box I fucking slice my thumb! Apparently the aluminum or something was too thin and sharp at the bottom that it managed to slice my thumb quite deep. So all the way to my car it was bleeding a lot >.< The cut was not big or long but it was deep. Then I rushed to my dermatologist clinic.
I reached there half and hour late. But I asked them for a bandaid so it was all cool. I did my fraxel but I don’t want to describe it here because it’s gonna be in a different post. After I’m done, I went back to pick mom up then left KL at almost 6 pm. I tried to keep my speed at 120 kmph this time haha. I don’t have a life insurance so if I crash and hurt myself and wreck the car, it’s over. Worse yet, if I die. I shudder at that thought. Freaks me out. I don’t know why up until now I still don’t have any insurance. It’s important, and I should start to have some insurance by now. I still managed to reach my hometown at 7.30 pm, just in time for buka puasa (break of fast). We went straight to ayam penyet restaurant (smashed chicken restaurant) to eat. I finally reached home at almost 10 pm. Damn. I was dead tired.
Well I need to get back to work now. My face is like itching like crazy. And I also realized I left my sunblock at my PJ place.. gah. How could I forget my most important thing especially after doing fraxel? FML.
Just a quick blog. I’ll write a longer blog after this post. Just thought I’d quickly write a word of advice. When I was talking to my friends last Sunday, one of them mentioned about how often he’d lose his phone either by dropping or losing it somewhere. Then 2 days ago my other friend mentioned that he lost his phone too. So I googled, and didn’t know that there’s such thing as phone insurance. There’s iphone insurance and even for blackberry. I would kill myself if I lose my BB because I can never afford a new one even though a new BB Torch is coming out and it’s a perfect BB phone to date, I can never afford it. I want a new Iphone 4 but it’ll be a while before I could afford it. But the thought of losing such expensive phone freaks me out. Especially since my old DS Lite was stolen when it was inside my bag it could happen to my phone too. Gah. Is there such thing as phone insurance in Malaysia?
Just thought I’d write a quick blog.
I’m in PJ now. I have dermatologist appointment tomorrow. Gosh, kinda reluctant to see them tomorrow cuz when I was sick couple of weeks ago, I haven’t been taking care of my skin and now I have like stupid blemishes and pimples and new scars on my forehead and cheeks. Urgh. It suuuucks.
I left my hometown at almost 6 pm >.< You see, it has been cloudy since morning so I’ve been scared to drive. Scared it would rain on the highway, like extremely heavy rain and I wouldn’t be able to see the road. It’s one hell of a scary thing. But since I have a ‘mini reunion’ with my ex japanese classmates at 7 pm so I said what the hell. Luckily it was drizzling up until a certain point then the weather was nice so yay. Plus I wanted to reach as fast as I could and I was speeding like 140kmph on the highway with a small ‘kancil’ car. I’ve never done that! You see, speeding with kancil car is suicidal. You go over 120kmph and the car will start to wobble. But yesterday mom sent the car for checkup and they replaced some stuff which friggin cost her RM500 (see, back to being broke again). It made my shitty car become so smooth that I didn’t even realize I was speeding at almost the max limit. o.O; usually by 120kmph the car would start to shake and if I pass huge vehicles like lorry or trailer, feels like the car’s about to fly haha That’s how light that car is.
Anyways, reached midvalley at 7.30 pm, had an amusing reunion with my mates and I learned a new word ‘rich man syndrome’ which I like so much that I’m gonna use it from now on haha. Poor mom though, she had to wait like 2 1/2 hours there alone waiting for me :\ Gosh being in midvalley sucks because so many restaurants, so much yummy food that I miss and can’t find in my hometown :\ I wish I have time to hangout with my other friends here I miss everyone but reaching at my place here reminds me of how much I hate this place, the people, the queuing up the elevators, the trash, the low class people, the double parking or no parking space… gosh.
Hmm I wish I have electric grills cuz I’m in the mood to eat some grilled chicken. x.x Okay, my eyes are like burning right now.. I’ve been way too sleepy. Been spending hours on computer earlier, luckily I didn’t fall asleep in the car. I miss my kitties in my hometown. Feels so lonely here without them, especially my Jojo who always yell at me. I wonder what they’re doing in Ipoh right now.. cuz Jojo is very attached to me, so she’s gonna be pissed when I’m not there lol.
Ok time to sleep.
Hello dearies. I have written 2 emo blog posts previously so I thought I’d write something that’s not serious now. I’ve also decided to blog about this to keep my sudden obsession from driving me nuts. Picture heavy entry ahead.
Have you guys watched “THE VAMPIRE DIARIES“?
I’ve been wasting 3 months of my life here, and probably will for another 1 month+ or so. I realized that my body becomes very tired because I haven’t been doing much. I feel life here is very slow, dull, lame and so on. Day by day I’m starting to feel very unhappy. I used to be happy here, I used to have a life. I had friends, I had bf, I had relatives… now it’s just very very very empty. Everyone has moved on to a new life, or to the other side while I’m still stuck here in this hell-hole. I feel like I want to do something, make new friends, but WHAT is there to do here?! I only have my one and only friend here and we could go out on the weekends only, that’s if she’s not busy or I’m not sick. But everytime we go out, we’d go to the same lame place.
I miss PJ. I miss my life there. I miss my friends. However my bestie is leaving me soon, and there I would be alone again. I have other friends, but she somehow turned to be the closest to me. We have a lot of things in common. We have the same interest & passion for films, we have the same interest for things, we have the same interest in food.. she’s also my sakae sushi buddy. Haha. What’s most important is our mindset. You see, it’s very hard for me to really click with people because I’m very Americanized so it’s hard for people to really understand me and my interest and the way I think. But she’s just like me, and that’s why we seem to click so well because we understand each other. I remember she was the only one who understood and loved Rocky Horror Picture Show, found Ms Swan funny (that’s how we met haha) and would find David Lehre, Craig & Allen cute haha. With her I don’t have to fake myself and pretend, because with others I have to sorta like ‘personalize’ myself for them.. like with malays I have to talk and act differently, and so on with chinese & indians depending on their personality. Now I have no one to go to a party or events with No one to spend a whole day long at the mall wandering aimlessly. I’ll miss you bitch and don’t you dare forget about me T____________T
I don’t have a lot of close friends that could understand me well. Hence why in my hometown, I only have one friend whom would still stick with me because we have a lot of things in common. She, too, mentioned quite a while ago about transferring to another state. Hence why my second ex and third ex could stick with me for a long time because one of them is Australian/Chinese and the other one is Canadian…my first malay ex stuck with me for 2 fucking days wtf… but unfortunately once you break up, they won’t give a shit anymore even if they mentioned that they would continue being best friends forever. They’re just a bunch of lies. They won’t give a shit if you die. They’ve stopped talking to you. They would only care if you’re their gf. And they aren’t the only ones.. I’ve had a couple more online years ago, 1 short fling, and 2 that was unexpected.. but they’re all just the same. That’s why relationship could destroy a person. It hurts too much.
Nobody knows how much it hurts to come back here in my hometown and not to have that certain someone with me anymore. It really fucking hurts. But I guess I’m used to this now.. I guess I’m meant to be alone for now… Whatever plans God have for me, I hope it’ll be a good one in the future.
However, I’m no longer completely broke My paypal money from all the online works is finally in my account since yesterday so I can re-activate my phone line, and spend some for Eid celebration. Mom also received her pension today. I’ve also received my study loan balance which was in my account for 1 second before it automatically went to my college’s account. T___T It was a bitch trying to call college yesterday to confirm if they still have my refund form but when I finally talked to the person, she mentioned it might take 2-3 weeks more to refund. I actually don’t mind, because I want to use that money in December, to buy my own Christmas gift. I’m thinking of getting myself a Mac or Macbook Pro, but I don’t know if I should spend RM4,000 at once on a mac :\ But I need a mac to do editing… at least I could freelance. But… RM4,000 could be spent on a lot of things… T__T
I feel like playing Second Life again.. just so that I don’t feel lonely but gosh, I’ve lost everything that I had before so it also hurts to go back in and not have everything that I used to have. But I still remember that SL was the only thing that saved me from insanity after my first extreme breakup and loneliness in Ipoh back in 2007. Maybe I should give it a chance again and start fresh. I just love the fact that I can be whoever I can’t be in real life. I can wear sexy costumes because I can modify myself to look sexy unlike my real self, haha. Maybe after I’m done with my friggin project I’ll try loggin in again and see how it goes.
Wow this post turned out to be longer than I intended it to be.