Archive for August, 2009

Finally semester is over, finally I’m free for 2 weeks… but I have absolutely no mood to be happy about it or to celebrate.

I am so fucking disappointed in myself after yesterday’s last presentation for video production 2. What a great end to a long stressful semester. I can’t even begin to describe how terrible everything went. First the lecturer was unhappy because everybody was late… I was told by my team mate it’ll start at 10 am because he already spoke to her.. but turns out she was there since 9 am.. wtf. We had technical problems with the projector and all so everything started after 11-ish.

My group went 2nd, and just before we start the head of faculty, whom we didn’t expect to show up, showed up. I was surprised as hell. I don’t know what my team mate was babbling about.. and I can’t even rely on my team mate to do a simple good proposal (he wrote in first person instead of the 3rd for topics he added which is a big no-no).  I had problem with editing, because my premiere pro keeps crashing so I had to make do with what I have and export that shit out rather than have nothing to present right? Our documentary turned out long and draggy, because I couldn’t even preview the fricken thing during offline editing so I can’t even guess what fits and what doesn’t. After that, the lecturer was like snickering and laughing, which is offensive in the first place because I can handle criticism but to have someone laughing at your work? Something you’ve been trying to work hard on, is really fucking disappointing and embarassing especially when head of faculty was there. I tried to explain how much difficulty I had because my computer can handle our usual few minutes of work but a 15 minutes documentary (3 documentaries nonstop for the whole week) was too much for my comp to handle but I don’t know if that is regarded as an excuse?

Not only the lecturer was unhappy with our work, but we got lectured by the head of faculty because of everyone’s attitude. She said our lecturer is fedup with our attitude.. well she’s excluding me and my team mate because we were the only ones who’s been attending class and contacting her about editing and the rest has been MIA but still.. and then after that, the lecturer gave her last word before she dismiss us, and said that she wish it was the first class, had she known we’d produce shitty work and know nothing on filmmaking.. okay she didn’t put it in that exact word but that was what she meant to say. She then said how The One Academy students would ask her for help, she’d go yamcha with them, help whenever they want her to even at 4 am… she said if we keep this attitude of just doing things on our own, we wasted money and time in this college.

What. The. Fuck.

If I wanted to be a bitch, i’d say that we’ve tried. WE’VE FRICKEN TRIED. The lecturer was gone for ONE FUCKING MONTH. She came back a week before final assessment. We TRIED to use the edit suite for editing, but because she couldn’t be there, we COULD NOT use the fucking edit suite. We couldn’t even borrow the camera AT ALL because something has gone missing it’s all like a fricken CSI scene now and off limit. She said we can’t blame the college, WHY CAN’T WE? We fucking PAY the college to use the facilities, so what is this fuckery? What is this stupidity? WHAT ARE WE PAYING FOR? To have a fricken part time lecturer go off for a month???? WITH NO REPLACEMENT CLASSES?!?! Had she not gone off for a month, she could have monitored our progress, she could have told us what she wants, what went wrong, what needs reshooting, and shit like that. If she could be there when we did the editing, she could have told us if it’s up to her standard or not but no, she could not be there. She didn’t even come except for a total of what — 3, 4 hours?

What else are we supposed to do?? We tried every fucking way to get our assignment done, and we did, but with such limited resources and equipment, the shitty work is what we’re capable of and I’M SO SORRY IT’S NOT UP TO YOUR STANDARD.

It pisses me off that I can do so much better, and to have someone who doesn’t know our strength, our problems, to judge the shitty work, it’s just fucking disappointing. I regret. I regret of going to that college. I should have gone to a real FILM SCHOOL like the Vancouver Film School or New York Film school where they have EVERYTHING from equipments to good editing facilities to other facilities such as green screen, studio, props, all complete. And my college? Everything is still BRAND NEW.. 2 years and it some has not even been used at all. The macs are so dusty because they have not been used. Fuck my life. I will, however get my degree in a real film school some day.. I’m never ever going to the Malaysian’s so called “film school” ever again. It’s full of shit.

I can go on more, but what’s the point? It’s not gonna change anything.

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