Yesterday I was so upset and depressed it’s not even funny. I haven’t been that upset about school since I entered it. But first I want to say big big thanks to Aaron for putting up with my depression, my venting, my frustration…. everything… :) I desperately needed someone to talk to since no one else rl cared so thank you, it meant a lot to me. :)

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See what happened was… it was my History of Arts final presentation yesterday. ‘I’ chose Rembrandt. I did the powerpoint myself. I could say that out of all, we had the best powerpoint, not boasting or anything but if you were there, you’d agree. The rest were plain, fonts too small, text unreadable, not enough info, too much info.. bla bla. Mr Nicsson said it was nice before. That’s cuz I know how to not overdo it, and what to include.

But here’s the main problem. All but Ren did NOT do research on Rembrandt. What they did was just memorize or practise their part printed from the slides. But since the first group did shit, Ms Fiona suddenly surprised us with questions at the end because she wasn’t happy (evil). Not just normal questions.. she was like interrogating crime suspects! It was nerve-wrecking. We so weren’t ready for that. Lucky for me, I did everything, including the research so I know my stuff… BUT. Ren read first… she was so nervous so she started to babble a bit. Then it was Kathy I think. Her part was so long, yet she had uncertainties on words and meaning, and not fluent in English made her talk slow and READING FROM POWERPOINT COMPLETELY (I had laptop facing her). Sherra was also the same and she akipped a few slides. Then Farah was also the same. Then when it comes to MY part, because they were all so slow in reading, I paid the price when the TIME WAS UP and I was only on couple of slides. I didn’t get to present what I was supposed to (my part is just like 3 minutes or so) So the result, Ms Fiona said the obvious good speakers were me and Ren BUT Ren is much better because she wasn’t reading from the slides. I was so pissed at that that I interrupted her and said “But I was supposed to elaborate on the pictures but THE TIME WAS UP! >=(” Man, was I pissed at that.

Then came the questions like we were crime suspects. I stood there nearly about to cry because I was so upset about my part, and prolly I’ve fucked up my individual mark, and I was so nervous when she was asking so many questions TO ME. Like she suspected I don’t know shit and just copy and pasted. Oh no missy. You got it wrong. I answered it all and she said very good, I know my stuff. I did my research. YES I FUCKING DID. Ren did too so she could answer. But for Sherra, Farah, and Kathy? They honestly said.. “No we did not learn anything from this project or artist.” Well yippee-fucking-doodle-doo. That prolly cost our GROUP MARKS for honestly telling her that they didn’t do shit to research on Rembrandt.

Mr Nicsson said he had told me to shorten the powerpoint.. I fucking did, Ok? If they would read it quick, and just take the points, it wouldn’t take 15 goddamn minutes. I’m sorry but I care so much about my marks… I don’t care if they don’t. I care. I strive to be the best or at least try beyond my max skill. If I fuck it up because of my own fault, I’d be pissed at myself. But if other factor fuck it up for me, when I’m trying my best, that’s when I can’t stand it.

All other groups sucked donkey’s ass. Seriously. Either they can’t talk, or have really weird accent that makes you go “WTF”, or just too soft.

So I went home, and ranted to Aaron… while crying. Beyond upset. Beyond pissed. And today I didn’t go to college or club meeting because I was too depressed and wasn’t feeling well.

And I had Domino’s Pizza delivered to my house today. I had to. Fattening junk foods would cure a bit of my depression.

I ordered Beef Pepperoni with extra cheese (with double decker crust) cuz it’s my fave. :)

Of course my dominos pizza meal would NOT be completed without my chicken wings with hot & spicy sauce. It’s the best damn chicken wings ever. Period.

I didn’t want this cinnamon sticks (with icing dip) but it comes with the value meal set so I had no choice. But I love cinnamon anyway hehe.

And I didn’t pass up the chance to taste this new addition to their menu - Brownie Bites. It’s part of their new pizza flavors promotion…but I didn’t try those. I want my pepperoni more.

But damn, the Brownies were damn delicious! It came with icing dip too…it would be so much better with chocolate syrup though…but still good. Damn good. It tastes like a hot, soft, creamy chocolate cake. :)

And in 2D & 3D Design class 2 days ago, I made this:

Mr Rasfan said I made a sperm! I was just asking if i t looks like a tadpole but noooo…he said it looks like a sperm. So Ren bent the ‘tail’ and make it squiggly like that so it becomes sperm.

But you know, I was the fastest sperm ;)