Bang

Urgh. This week has been hell.

Yes, I am still sick. Well getting better… but the sickeness is still there and it sucks. Still coughing like hell though. I need water heater Cold shower just made me have difficulty breathing again and coughing like I’m dying, blah. lol. So tomorrow morning I’m probably going to the clinic if I’m still coughing. Mom don’t allow me to go back to Ipoh so I’m not going back. I might crash the car since I’m still sick, lol. And couldn’t sleep again yesterday because I couldn’t breathe so ended up staying up watching Supernatural, the crime channel, some british comedies and game shows, the life story of Jennifer Lopez on E! (oh I was really bored then) and finally fell asleep at almost 10 am and woke up at 2 pm.

And urgh. I hate being depressed. I hate feeling like I wanna take a gun and put it to my head and BANG. But I can’t fucking help it There’s people around me making me feel bloody pissed off. There’s some stuff I shouldn’t mention here because people might read it, but if you know me, you know I have this years of hatred toward my stupid retarded cousin that used to live with me in Ipoh. She used to drive me insane. She made me run away from my house at 12 am, screaming any vulgar words i could think off and ran out until H came to my rescue and tried to console me. She used to make me attempt to overdose pills and slit my wrist, no joke. That’s how extreme she is. That’s how much I hated her until she moved out of my house in Ipoh. She messed with my life. She destroyed my family. She messed with my stuff, my friends… she fucked up everything. But I’m willing to ignore those now…..

…..unless it involves my goddamn cats. I love my cats to death. When I was moving to KL in 2006 I sent like almost 10 cats to her.. but shortly after I took 3 with me… she killed the rest and let 2 ran away… you had no idea how depressed, upset I was at that time. All my dearest cats just disappeared within a blink of an eye. So recently I had 7 kittens to give away.. mom sent 4 to someone I don’t know and set 3 of the cutest ones to her. Thing is, one of the kittens resembles my missing cat BABY MIKA and I wanted him but mom didn’t allow me… today she called saying he’s gone missing and I was like WHAT. THE. FUCK.! I told mom NOT to send them to her as I could already guess what would happen but did she listen? NO. Now I’m pissed at her and what mom’s doing? She’s bitching at me back like she has done nothing wrong. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Argh. With that, and my sickness, and some other annoyances… not a pretty picture!

Sorry if I acted cold or ignored some people.. I really didn’t mean to
Wow I can make a story of my life except it will have too much drama and tragedy, nobody would wanna see it

But yay, I just saw HARRY POTTER & ORDER OF PHOENIX interview/trailer on MTV and ahhh I can’t wait. Can’t wait. Can’t wait. July 12th!! I can’t wait for the final book either… HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS oh yeah. Now I’m all happy again because of it. And Dominos pizza makes me happy.

“………………………………….Tany says BLERRRRRRGHHHH, what a day”
(ok old picture and I was 18, so what? LOL.. I just found my cd with some old pics backup that I thought I had lost in the comp crash last February argh)

//EDIT

Oh my god. LOL. I was browsing the backup CD and I found this… a voice recording of mine. I used to love recording voices with Cy aka Ryushimitsu aka whatever name he goes by now and this recording reminds me of the good times, LOL… if you’re interested you can download and listen:

DOWNLOAD VOICE CLIP

Translation: “You just turned straight and you already have a bitch to fuck, geez you’re a bad, bad boy”

I used to have a a hella good time with my online friends Now I need to find the other recording me doing grandma and baby’s voice if I still have it